Posted by: Too much | 2008/10/13

My life...its terrible.

Where do I begin? Im 28 and still live at home, which drives me insane. To say I hate it is an understatement of note, my father is a f*ck up. I feel so worthless and depressed, how can a 28 yr old still be at home? By this age you should be able to support yourself and possibly have bought your own place, well not me. Ive even stopped seeing certain of my friends because Im tired of being reminded of what I cant have (own house,!!!) and Im sick of feeling inadequate. I feel useless, how am I supposed to get a girl if I cant even look after myself, what a loser. So Ive given up on that idea. I cant even afford to rent a place, my job pays me f*ck all, and Ive been here for 3 yrs. No medical aid, no pension, no perks, no increase. I dont even greet my boss anymore, F*CK HIM!! I have a degree and the required qualifications for my job but they still pay me nothing. The boss said he would " sort me out"  once I obtained my most recent qualification, but nothing. Im involved in finance and due to the current world situation, nobody is employing. Ive tried to change jobs, got a recruitment agent, but nothing, no company will hire now because their futures arent certain.I battled to get my current job due to BEE. Every thing just seems stacked against me. Every plan I make to try sort my problems out gets shot down. I dont know what to do!! All my problems are due to having no money. I dont care what people say, money can buy you happiness. It will definitely help me. A new job means more money and moving out of home and away from that asshole father. Also more confidence and maybe then finally a new girl. My life is dependent on a new job but I cant get one. Im trapped, stranded with no way of escaping. Thanks for reading my story, and sorry for the swearing.

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Our expert says:
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Why do you insist that you "CAN'T" have these things ? Only your giving up means that you can't do something. Its not true that "nobody is emplying: --- some are, and always will be. Keep trying. Yes, things are difficult, but they are not imposible, unless you insist on giving up.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Grow up | 2008/10/15

After reading all your posts I' m not surprised at all that you can' t find a job, what I am surprised about is that somehow your current boss is dumb enough to keep you. You act like a hormonal 14 year old, and I don' t even know why I' m posting because you don' t have the maturity to listen to any advice. Change your attitude, and your situation will change, Be grateful for what you have. Your parents could have been just like you and I' m sure you wouldn' t spend money to let your 28 year old stay with you, as long as you blame everyone else and don' t look at yourself you' ll accomplish nothing. Yes it is hard to get a decent job, but with your attitude it' s impossible. People with less than you have made a success of their life' s, whites included

Reply to Grow up
Posted by: meikie | 2008/10/14

too much, did you say ironing for me?

thanks to BEE, I have just opened my company and i am waiting for some monies to be deposited intop my account and i will be driving a big car and staying in dainfern, so who will be ironing for u?

you are the one thinking with your ass, thats why you have a shit job, you father hates u, your boss doesnt take u serious and you dont belong as your friends belittle you because you are so stupit.

if that you think that black people are for ironing, think twice, i might be your boss next or nie degree we still have opportunities.

start using ur head.

Reply to meikie
Posted by: jcat | 2008/10/13

So, you have been a whining little toe-rag for at least ten years. Damn right you didn' t get into fulltime varsity - regardless of skin colour, they look at your other attributes as well. Having a cr*p attitude towards everything and always having to blame someone else for your failure - why would they want you? Why should your boss give you an increase when you are so much of a brat that you won' t even greet him?
Guess what dude, in the real world no-one gives you toys just because you cry about it. And if they were going to hand out extras, they don' t go to the nasty little turds having a tantrum...

Grow up. Thats obviously something you forgot to study.

And yes, LB and the banski' s aside, there are plenty of finance and investment jobs available. It' s just that they are interviewing people who might actually add some value to the company!

Reply to jcat
Posted by: John | 2008/10/13

Check outside your bedroom door tonight at about 9' ish or so - you' ll see a a big box that' s gift wrapped. Inside it is the thing you want - all your problems sorted out by someone else. Neat isn' t it? Oh wait - of course that can' t happen. You can' t complain about your house or your dad because you CHOOSE to go there every night. You can' t complain about BEE stopping you because other white people get new jobs all the time, every day in fact. Lets see how terrible your life is - you have a roof over your head, you have a job - hmmm, Maslow would say you are two steps to the good. I wish you would get off your arse so that I could kick it. If the roof over your head isn' t good enough for you, then move out. Go to England and work as a waiter for a while and learn what it is to really struggle. It will be a lesson that will change your life. Go and work on a oil rig instead of bleating about how the world' s economy is against you. I wonder if there was no BEE, who you would have blamed. We' re part of the commonwealth now, so you can pretty much travel anywhere you like. I know young people that have chosen (yes, CHOSEN) to change their lives themselves and got up off their dissatisfied arses and did it. Black, Coloured and Indian and - yes, truly - even some white people. Strange but true. But why don' t you carry on bleating about how hard your life is, while CHOOSING to do nothing about it yourself - but keep checking outside your door in case that gift box magically appears.

Reply to John
Posted by: Too much | 2008/10/13

your house? Mmmh sure, well done you managed to get onto the BEE gravy train, lovely place isnt it? why dont you try broaden your horizons and work overseas? Oh wait, you' re only " valuable"  in this country and if you go overseas you' ll end up flipping burgers. So there my friend, we see how much you have really achieved on your own. You think you are smart, what kind of a serious job lets you leave so early? Q7 sure buddy, keep dreaming.

Reply to Too much
Posted by: GET OVER URSELF | 2008/10/13

HA HA HA FROM SHACK TO HOUSE...thats a funny one...shame u are so angry and bitter..i wont bother insulting you..the fact that ur life is so shitty and when i go home to my OWN HOUSE tonight and pour myself a single whisky just to recap the day u will probably be at it with ur old man and go lock urself in ur room and immerse yourself in your sadness..shame..rascism mixed with underarchieving can be so ugly...! well excuse me..MY Q7 awaits me...i have to hit the i think ull have to save up for a while before u can afford my ironing services..first of all the iron has to be high end russel hobbs..once u actually have ACHIEVED something and can afford a house, an iron and ironing board give me a call we can prob negotiate discounted BEE rates and u can finally BENEFIT!

Posted by: Too much | 2008/10/13

As to be expected you guys are talking out of your asses. No I didnt go to university, I didnt qualify. But the blacks from my school with lower grades qualified...makes sense doesnt it? So Meikie I got my degree, unlike you, through Unisa, its much cheaper and they dont have BEE b.s rules. And I paid for it myself. So stop jumping to conclusions. I could also be rude about you, but Ill refrain. As for the 2 black women replying to must feel great uplifting yourselves the way you have? from shack to house all thanks to the government. Thats impressive. So please, once you' ve actually accomplished something yourselves come talk to me. Im sure by then Ill have a better job and should have an opening as a maid, Ill have lots of ironing for you.

Reply to Too much
Posted by: meikie | 2008/10/13

i wanted to say the problem lies with u.

Reply to meikie
Posted by: meikie | 2008/10/13

I aked u a question and you didnt bother to answer. well the problem lies with me. are you white? u r a spoilt brat.

The time u left for university u should have come back home. did u pay for your univesity fees, i dont think so. the reason u r calling ur dad an asshole is because u dont wanna grow up and u want to be the man in his house.

many people dont have degrees and they are not cry need couselling.we are living in cheap apartment and earning low salaries.

some people, maybe you are -|- ing using drugs.sorry for the swearing.

Reply to meikie
Posted by: get over urself | 2008/10/13

Oh u poor baby..and i do suppose the white people my company employs almost every month come to the interviews disguised in choc body paint?-get over ur pity party and stand up for urself...otherwise order more booze for ur pity party and send another of these when u are 38.

Reply to get over urself
Posted by: Damn You | 2008/10/13

Sorry sweety but you should be a man enough and get a room to rent in Alexandra you are going to pay less than R500 ooops sorry you are not BEE

Reply to Damn You
Posted by: Too much | 2008/10/13

" damn you" ...what do you know about my living conditions? Are you there for the fights and tension? He' s so innocent hey, trying to be nice and providing shelter hey? He' s done nothing wrong hey? You dont know sh*T about me, so rather keep your comments to yourself.

Reply to Too much
Posted by: Anon | 2008/10/13

I understand your situation. I' ve been researching relocating to Dubai, there are alot of jobs out there I' m not sure if there are any in your field but they pay well. And if you are lucky enough to get a job and a sponsor they will provide you with your accommodation, and transport. All you have to worry about is your food.

I' m seriously contemplating leaving this country, for my own safety and for my family.

Good luck :)

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Damn You | 2008/10/13

You are so rude and stupid for calling your father an asshole the poor man gave you a roof under your head and you should move the hell out of his house sweety
If you earn more than Meikie then fuc..k all

Reply to Damn You
Posted by: Too much | 2008/10/13

Finally a couple people who feel my pain and understand!! Thanks for the comments.

YMCA isnt a solution, I would like to be able to return to my room and still own a couple of things. So as much as I cant stand my father, at least my stuff is safe. But yes I need to get out of home asap and it is a massive cause of stress in my life, but I just cant afford it. Meikie, he is an asshole, an absolute control freak, selfish...the list can go on forever. So obviously we clash all the time. I dont know how you survive on so little!!

Sure, what I have is better then nothing...but only just. If this is all Im worth, then geez mate, is there much point? I know I could earn more as a bartender, so why did i bother studying...its ridiculous.

Reply to Too much
Posted by: gb | 2008/10/13

hi again..... are you sure you are registered with all the employment companies as my son is 33 in the investment industry and he has been looking around and there are jobs out there and they are hiring ......step 1...send you cv to all the agencies.....step 2....find a room in a commune ...then it wont be so expensive to move.....step 3 motivational books...or go to the library and get them......there are just so many books out there to assist in movtivating you..... You CAN do this..just focus on 1 day at a time. Good luck

Reply to gb
Posted by: too much for me 2 | 2008/10/13

hey too much. i understanding fully how you feeling im also im the same field and i get a dam lousy salary but on the other hand something is better then nothing.but its just -|- ed up dude

Reply to too much for me 2
Posted by: meikie | 2008/10/13

why are you saying yuor father is -|- ed up?

maybe he is the cause of stress in your life. another thing how much are you earning? i am at the same age as you and i am earning R5000.00 evry rent is 2000 and i am surviving on 3000.00. considering the fact that i dont have qualification, its not that bad.

do u have too much debt?can you atleast afford to pay for a second hand tazz for about 1800?

the reason why i am asking you this is maybe there is more to your situation and i wanna find out what.

Reply to meikie
Posted by: Same here | 2008/10/13

I am in the same boat as you. I am stuck in a terrible job and I have been looking for a job since 2005. And now I have finally given up. I don' t even get interviews. I am an Engineer. Engineers are supposed to be selling like hot cakes but not me. I have even paid someone to fix up my CV to at least get me interviews. And the cost of living is climbing so quickly.

Sorry, I don' t have a solution I just wanted to say - I hear you. And I don' t know what people expect you to do - it' s not as if we are not looking....

Reply to Same here
Posted by: Just a suggestion | 2008/10/13

Sart by moving out of your father' s home. Try theYMCA in your area. Even if you have to rent a tiny room at a minimal amount. As I see it your living conditions are the very first thing to change. Once you are on your own, you will find inner peace and things will start happening for you. Get away from the stress first.

Reply to Just a suggestion
Posted by: aNNa | 2008/10/13

Sorry that you feel this way Too Much - my brother is experiencing the same thing in the UK, but he has decided to spend this time studying past post-melt down trends so he' s ready for whatever happens next.

He is lucky because we (his family) have always taught him that qualifications are just the START of the journey and so he doesn' t know that he' s supposed to be unhappy - just that he' s poised on the edge of incredible unfolding history and he' s learning how to take the next wave.

Reply to aNNa
Posted by: quotation | 2008/10/13

Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle.

Ken Hakuta

Reply to quotation
Posted by: Too much | 2008/10/13

Ok, I clearly need to be more specific. In my field, which is specialised, investment companies are not employing. Its tough to get a job at the best of times. So The Star isnt the solution smart a*s bob, but thanks for the advice. Maybe thats where you can find your plummer job.

GB you are right, my attitude is far from positive. But unfortuantely there arent interviews being conducted, so its not like my attitude is preventing me from getting any. my attitude is a result of the lack of jobs. You guys dont understand completely what is going on in the finance world (im not talking accounting), but thanks for trying to help.

Reply to Too much
Posted by: gb | 2008/10/13

i would suggest that with a positive attitude you would get interviews....what you give out to the universe is what you get back........
try to focus only on positive things from the time you wake will notice you enjoy your day much more....
remember Life is a journey not a destination

Reply to gb
Posted by: v | 2008/10/13

Have utried finding something at a accounting firm? they take on people that are still studying. I know of a accountant in Centurion who does.

Reply to v
Posted by: Bob' s girlfriends' s friend | 2008/10/13

oh - sorry Bob' s Girlfriend must be mistaken all the adds in the Wednesday' s Star in the Job section must be something someone just does for fun! They are not real jobs.

Reply to Bob&#39 s girlfriends&#39 s friend
Posted by: Melanie | 2008/10/13

Hi Too Much
I feel sorry for you but you need to change the way you think and also the way you see things. In order to move forward you need to think positive thoughts. Set yourself small goals to achieve. No one achieves great things overnight, it takes small steps. Perhaps you could be more assertive at work remind your boss whatever he promised you.
Good luck

Reply to Melanie
Posted by: Hope* | 2008/10/13

Dear Too Much, at the age of 28 you still have the world at your feet. You have lots to look forward to. Take a step back, review what you have and how you can improve. You dont have to have money to have a GF. Perhaps if you find the right girl, in time, you may be able to set up a life together. Take care

Reply to Hope*
Posted by: Too much | 2008/10/13

FYI Bobs Girlfriend, the world markets are in melt down so to speak. You may have heard about Lehman brothers in the states closing down? Well there are many more like it. So companies arent employing because they may be closing down. So I cant get another job at the monent or for the foreseeale future.

CS, how am I supposed to have these things if I cant afford them, or to live??? I guess my situation is a little out of your understanding. But your response is true in theory. Ps tell me whos employing?

Reply to Too much
Posted by: Bob' s Girlfriend | 2008/10/13

Why cant you get another job?

Reply to Bob&#39 s Girlfriend

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