Our expert says:
I am so sorry to hear of yoru difficult situation, d. And I can't help feeling that the ppsychologist who sent you to the butchers ought to have his/her head examined by someone with proper knowledge of how to be helpful.
But there should still be some good liing to do. Chemo is beastly, there's no hiding that, and it takes a lot out of you. I know from my own more limited experience of more limited chemo, that far beyond side-effects, it really is exhausting, physically and emotionally. But it could prove helpful and be a whrthwhile investment of your courage. Counselling should be helpful, if you can find a shrink who is realistic rather than gruesome and naive --- the Cancer Association should be able to link you to other cancer surivors who have experienced this sort of chemo and can be helpful based on their own real experience, and should also be able to steer you to a less surreal and silly shrink. You deserve more than simplistic Positive Thinking ideas, and can be more an active part of the strugle against your cancer, and more able to find peace and comfort while alive and moving forwards.
Friends and family with most illnesses, can provide more attention that you need at first, and then drop of as one continues dealing with one's illness, and usually just when their attention and help would be more needed.
Part of the problem is that, knowing that you are facing a serious illness, they feel uncomfortable and don't know what to say to you. Some feel that they need to find some miraculously brilliant things to say to make you feel entirely happy, and, not being capable of thinking of such words, avoid you, uneasy at not being able to bring you the degree of comfort they think you need and deserve. If only they'd realize that what one generally needs and wants is far simpler, some company, some support and encouragement.
Do see a properly skilled shrink ; do contact the Cancer Association and se ehow they can help ; and do remain in contact with us here on this Forum, as we'd like to maintain contact with you and hear of the ups and downs of your progress.
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