Our expert says:
It seems what you describe is a bit of an imbalance in your sexual relationship. What is important is that both parties enjoy the intimacy shared in the sexual experience and to be able to communicate one's needs. Many women explain that the intimacy is what is important to them and not necessarily having intercourse everytime and it is not necessary for them to reach orgasm everytime to feel sexually satisfied. It is know that testosterone levels in men are higher than those found in women, which results in a higher sexual drive in men. Sex drive or sexual appetite is a normal function, similar to our appetite for food. What may help is to look at it in this way. Appetites vary, so that at a meal you may not feel like having much to eat (perhaps only 1 course), whereas your husband may feel like a lot (perhaps 3 courses) to eat. You shouldnt have to eat more than you feel like and in the same way, he shouldnt have to starve. It would be necessary to explain this to your husband, that you would like the closeness and intimacy but that you dont need penetration everytime in order to feel satisfied. It may be necessary for you to stimulate him, or for him to do this so that he reaches orgasm. A quicky every now and then may be a good idea. In this way, you dont feel pressurised to have intercourse and that you can enjoy the hugs, knowing that your closeness doesn't always have to always result in sex. It may be a good idea to have further counselling. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org
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