Posted by: mbali | 2008/07/30

my kindness is killing me what must I do

last year I was staying with a lady that I don' t even know in my house, cos her uncle wanted to rape her several occasions she is 26 yrs old and attending school for nursing and my friend ask if I can accomodate her unti she got a suitable flat for herself she can' t accomodate her bcos she is staying with her husband they need privacy etc, so i agreed to accomade her for a month, since then the lady swa how kind I am and took advantage she cant assist me, and behaves as if she is the owner now in my house, she gave me R200 that I must add when buying grocery that was once and she stayed with me for more than 8months, I give her lift to school everday and she eats, bath, wash her clothes only, iron and buys clothes, always telling me how poor they are at home she wants to work and supports her sisters and mother I was even afraid to ask her to atleast contribute something, what was she gonna do if she was staying at a flat and weekends visits her boyfriend use my phone without permission etc, I am a person who can' t talk feel guitly always if I have to say something that I don' t like finaly my sista assiste me in formulatin a story that my husband is coming back so we have no space for her anymore, that was a relief. currently someone came through my family friend that she was robbed and she needs counselling and Im the only one who can assist her cos they are far from this province I agreed and stay with her thinkin is a week and that was in march even now she is still with me I don' t mind that but she was [aing rent at school and transport and food but now she tells me me her mother is a domestic worker and very poor she gave me R300 that was in june till now, why are they doing this, life is very expensive as a single parent I can' t afford to be supporting everyone without even asking me and Im not open when coming to problems she told me she is sick she can' t use her hand but she eats with the very same hand Im confused how do I tell her without hurting her,please help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OLOok after yourself and don't allow such people to exploit you --- don't believe every sob storiy you get told. Its rather like what one needs to do to avoid becoming pregnant or getting into drugs --- jst say NO.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: anon | 2008/07/30

Dont let people take advantage of you like that. We tend to take our kindness a bit too far with people and all they do is take advnatge of the situation. Tell her exactly how you feel and that this was initially only a termporary arrangement and you feel she now needs to find her own place or alternative arrangements must be made else where. She should be ashamed to carry on that way in your home and should nto be allowed to boss u around in your own home
Gather the courage to tell her ....!!!

Reply to anon
Posted by: **** | 2008/07/30

learn to use punctuation marks!

Reply to ****
Posted by: NADI | 2008/07/30


No body is diong nothing to you, You have a chioce to choose what you want and dont want in your life, If you dont have for your self and your child dont invite people into your life. It is better for you to not except people honestly then except them and later have a problem with it, People take advantage of other peoples help. Everyone this days are looking for someone to dump their problems on.Once you advertise your self as a good person, you will always attract such people, Dont be affraid to tell them were to get of because their not afraid to use you. They no what they are diong is wrong they just want to see how far they can pull.

Reply to NADI

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