Posted by: Anon | 2013/02/15

My job is destroying me

I have never had issues at work before, always worked well and achieved, but over the last 4 months, my job has become to destroy me. I inadvertently got caught in the middle of a power struggle, and since then my life has been a living hell. Hardly a day goes by that I am not in tears over work, and usually I would class myself as a resilient and strong person. I am also a single parent and trying not to bring stress home and with no one to talk to about it, makes things tough on my son. I have tried everything not to be emotional about it all, but am finding myself at breaking point, ready to walk out at anytime. My cv has been on the market, but I am not getting anywhere, I find myself becoming completely despondent and suspect that depression is starting to set in, I keep on trying to convince myself that its only a job that pays the bills, but it is starting to impact the hours that I am not at work. I have been completely ostracized, everywhere I go I wonder what I am going to be raked over the coals for, mostly unjustifiably IMO, however because of this, i am also aware that I am starting to under perform, and starting just not to care, which means when I come in in the morning I start becoming neurotic about what I am going to be raked over the coals for again, and so it forms a cycle. In really don''t know what to do anymore, have now been called into a meeting on Wednesday and know I will end up bursting into tears, so don''t want to go, and already am worried about how I can avoid work for the next can I turn my emotions off for work, prevent myself from turning into an emotional wreck, considering I might not be able to get another job in the near future.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The civil wars that rage in some offices can indeed be awful ; and they always indicate bad senior management, among other factors. And its harder than in conventional warfare to become a neutral and non-combatant.
Are there not other people like you, also caught in the crossfire, with whom you could safely talk and give mutual support ?
Its easy advice to give and hard to actually carry out, to leave the job back at work and make your own time truly your own. Does the company have an HR dept, and if so, what on earth are they doing ? Seeing a counsellor, especially if this is provided for within company medical aid, would be wise, and could be very helpful. People who ostracize you are unworthy of the power you give them by allowing them to upset you. Greet them cheerfully and ignore their lack of response ; that helps to remove their fangs.
I\m sure that after the weekend, as our regular readers return in greater numbers, you should receive further support and good advice from our group many of whom have experienced similar troubles. Remember at all times that you are a good person doing a good job, and don't let the bad guys disturb you

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Pixie | 2013/02/16

Hi Anon
Are there separate parties who are forcing you to take sides or do things that you don''t feel ethical?
It is very hard to feel that your employers/supervisors are trying to work you out of your job.
I understand how hard it is to remotivate yourself to do your job when you feel unappreciated/targeted etc.
Try making " to do"  lists either daily or weekly - set yourself attainable targets - even if you just achieve 3 things a will make you feel like you''ve accomplished something. As CS suggests, greet your colleagues and supervisors cheerfully - its hard when inside you feel that they are treating you unfairly (trust me I know, I feel like I am targeted because I had health issues last year and more sickleave than I used to have even through I have been with the company going on 7 years and they know my work ethic but still, it seems they treat me differently now but " act all sweet and caring" ).
For me - I just make sure I go in every day and try and achieve at least one or two goals for the day. I am feeling much more in control - I am not happy in my job but I am not in the emotional state to market myself to potential employers - my confidence does not come through. So I am sticking where I am for now, I am grateful I have a job and yes, it pays the bills and they don''t put too much pressure on me. I do feel they treat some staff differently from others but hey, its a job.
Can you not get some mild tranquilisers like biral or reallicalm? My anxiety is too far gone for these they don''t work for me -
How about seeing a councellor for coginitive behavioural therapy to try deal with your anxieties and reactions to situations - I am about to try it myself.

Good luck, hang in there. I am sorry you are a single mom and don''t have the luxury of being able to leave your job and take time to find a new one. Sometimes we just have to grit our teeth and carry on one day at a time in order to make sure we meet our commitments and responsibilities. Because you are feeling so low, you are probably sending a negative vibe to potential employers so you need to find practical and logical ways to deal with your situation as best as possible until your confidence returns and you can move on.

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