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Question
Posted by: Gen | 2006/07/17

My husband...The verbal abuser

He has always done this, but I shrugged it off and payed no attention to him, lately he seems to be getting worse, and I worry as we have a 5 month old, he also has a terrible temper and screams and shouts, i have asked him many, many times to try to control his language, but he won't lisen. I am so worrid my son is going to grow up in an environment where he thinks it's ok to swear and curse, also a lot of fighting. My husband would never lay a hand on me though, and I know he does love me, but he has really become a horrible person to be around.

We have NO sex life, he always wants, I am NOT interested, do you think it is something mental that could be causing my disinterest?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Your son will have the chance to learn from you, that such swearing is a bad and immature thing to do, and won't necessarily follow his dad's bad behaviour patterns. And he can hardly be surprised that you don't feel like sex with an angry and swearing partner. Any chance of him accepting personal counselling, or marriage counselling with you ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: nono | 2006/07/18

my bf is the same, he can't communicate without shouting,losing it like he is going to slap me and banging things. Sometimes I am afraid that he is going to loose it and bit me, though he has done it before. I want to leave him but I think he will hurt me or my baby if I try. He is a nice looking man and you won't expect that from him. I realesied that the only time he acts like he is going to have a heart attack is when I ask about his X partner.

Reply to nono
Posted by: BRAD | 2006/07/17

i think your feelings are really normal --
aggression / fighting and disagreement -- make us all get truned off from sex .
sometimes not possible to fight and scream one minute --
and then be sexually intimate the next minute .
you should tell him -- shouting and bad language will not fix any problems -- only polite negotiation with each other ---
will help .
someone finally has to give up something for the peace
It is like politics -- FW de KLERK -- gave up the government --
to have peace in our counrty -- AND IT WORKED !!
about the sex --- tell him --
if we can have peace for 5 days -- then you will be in the mood for some intimate time -- that is fair --
no peace -- no sex!!

Reply to BRAD
Posted by: Ans | 2006/07/17

If I was a woman and my husband scream, swear and shout at me,he can go fly somewhere,I will also not be intrested in sex.What will it be like,he will give orders and swear how I must respond to him,no way.How long do you still want to be verbally abused.What I want to say now will perhaps not be the rigt thing to say,but make him a choice,he stop and be a loving person or you and your kid leave him and start a new live.

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