Our expert says:
Your husband sounds unpleasantly selfish and bad mannered, and this could be helped by proper counselling, but absolutely ONLY if he recognized that there was a problem, really wanted to change for the better, and was prepared to seek help and work properly on the task.
This sounds like a personality disorder, and not an illness. And I doubt whether he thinks there is anything at all wrong with his unpleasant attitude to everyone else.
Sometimes such a person changes, at least a bit, if people stop protecting them from the natural consequences of their bad behaviour, and they run into a crisis in which they see what they have been doing wrong. I suspect that people see that He is a uswer, but that you are not
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