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Question
Posted by: sophie | 2018/07/19

My husband beats my cats

I'm an immigrant in a new country. I don't have any family or friends here. I just have my husband who works the whole day. To not be  alone all day I've got 2 lovely super beautiful Persian cats at home. I don't feel that lonely when they are with me... then I found out my husband beats my cats when he is alone with them. One of my cats ended up losing an eye and the other lost a tooth... you don't wanna know what he does with the cats... although it's hard I'm giving the cats away. my question is, can I have children with this man? is it possible that he hurts our future children too? what is his sickness? I have to mention he is a super husband.. perfect in every sense of life, he is romantic and super gentle to me and in society too, he is successful in his job if you see him you would never believe that he can do such a thing

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2018/07/20

Hello Sophie, 
I hope you are finding good homes for your poor, innocent cats.
 Cruelty to animals is not only a disgusting thing for anyone to do under any possible circumstances, but it is a sinister sign of potential violence towards others.  Pay very close attention to the warning signs.
There can be different reasons for such behavior, but nobody who was ever "perfect in every sense of life" ever hurt an animal.  Psychopaths enjoy controlling other people, and are skilled at being awfully nice when it suits them.
The story you tell suggests that while you feel isolated and lonely, that may be how he wants you to be, to be exclusively available to him, and that he could be jealous even of the love you show to little cats.
One thing that is very often found to be part of the life story of a psychopath / sociopath who is later found to be involved in violence and cruelty towards other people, is a history of cruelty towards animals, often from childhood on.  Maybe this is not the case in this guy, but one would be cautious. Many people your advise you not to have children with him until he has over time shown himself to be a thoroughly good person, not merely in a romantic sort of way. What has he said about the possibility of having children, and how sure can you be that he won't become jealous of them, and the demands they will necessarily place on your love, time, and attention ?  And don't have children because you feel lonely : that'd a bad reason for having kids, and bad for the children . They have the right to be wanted for their own sake, and respected for their own rights.
What has he had to say, when asked calmly, about how the cats came to such horrible harm while in his care 
Try harder to make human friends, to get involved in local wholesome activities,  rather than just sitting round feeling bad.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anne | 2018/07/25

If this guy is beating your cats and being mean to them he is NOT a nice person. Nice people don't do that. Try to figure out why he has such aggressive towards the cats and can he be helped. (latent anger etc) I would be very concerned if I were you, once the new romance is over he'll probably take his anger/meaness out on you! Be awarem eyes OPEN and make sure you have a safetly net of friends that are around for you.

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