Our expert says:
What you describe is probably the commonest problem in relationships. It called low sexual desire, and is most often found in women. At the beginning of a relationship, with all the emotions that go with it, sex drive is normally heightened in both partners. As the relationship progresses, the initial desire declines and settles down to a more normal pattern. The normal pattern, is that men requires sex 3 times more often than women do. So throughout a relationship, that is the tension between the high needs of the mail and the lower needs of the female. Additionally with age, sex drive declines (you don't tell me what your age is so can't really comment on this aspect for you). The final result of these very normal physical attributes, is that the male feels rejected and the female feels pressurised. And this leads to the kind of problems that your face in your relationship. Additionally, from time to time, other factors can influence sexual desire, in particular hormonal changes, depression, illness of any kind, worries, work stress, and the arrival of new children.
My advice to you is to recognize these factors, stop pressurising her to have sex, stop threatening to leave her, and sits down in an open environment where you can talk these things through and try to find a way forward to meet both needs without blaming each other for anything. This is sometimes difficult to do with their relationship and is often a lot easier with the assistance of a therapist.
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