Posted by: DD | 2004/11/18

my friends critisize my decision/choice.

I come from a poor family and grew up struggling, now I am engaged. I have pushed up myself to be up where I am today, my fiancee is not as strong as I am and though he comes from a struggling family but better than mine,I am hard worker and a go getter and him had not experinced hardship like me.
my friends do not like him as they say he might pull me down again, they laugh at me why I am marrying someone who is not educated/ does not have money. They say I will have to support him throughout. I know he does not earn as much as I do and I do not mind that.i do not know if i should hide my relatioship to them.what should I do.? i love him so much although things are like this. i do not want to have doupts.

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Our expert says:
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Hello DD,
We all handle circumstances, such as those of struggling from a poor background, diferently. Some of us learn to be assertive, others learn to be passive. One can understand, perhaps, your friend's concerns, but love isn't about education and certainly isn;t about money. If you and he are happy together, why not just tell those nosy friends to back off ? I fully agree with Kay's response, and those of our other excellent folk, Carol, Mthibana, et al. Maybe those "friends" are showing concern for you, but they're not showing respect for you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mthibana | 2004/11/19

"what suits us as individuals doesnt suit the next person" i like what Carol said in the above statement.Its true sweety believe in your self not in your so called friends if you want whats best for you and you know its best for you stick with it.
"You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories." - Stanislaw Lec, author (1909-1966)

Reply to Mthibana
Posted by: Carol | 2004/11/19

To Blazes with your friends... my hubby and I have been happily married for 7 years .. he has severe learning problems ,I earn more than he does .. BUT he supports me and loves me and is fantastic with his stepchildren who adore him ... I was also critised but I wouldnt exchange him for the world .. we are all different and sometimes what suits us as individuals doesnt suit the next person ....

Reply to Carol
Posted by: Dude | 2004/11/18

yous check, friends come and go and if yous ave dig thun dats foreva... don't let those wankers plant seeds of doubt into your eart... unless yous avin them

Reply to Dude
Posted by: DD | 2004/11/18

thank you so much Kay for the response. I really feel that if they like me enough they should respect my decisions, even if my fiance had one eye or not working I would be loving him anyway. I guess i have to create new friends.

Reply to DD
Posted by: Kay | 2004/11/18

Are your friends going to be the ones who are there to love you and suppoprt you thoughout the rest (hopefully) of your life? Are they going to hold you when you are hurt and share your laughter when you are carefree. Will they face each day with you?

Your husband will do this one day and you should choose this man with your head AND your heart. Too many times marriages are based on what a person can provide or bring materialistically into the union - and look where alot of those marriages end....

This is a decision that only YOU can make and if your so called freinds cannot support you and respect your decision then maybe you need new friends - and not a new fiance.

Reply to Kay

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