Posted by: Going insane | 2005/11/28

My friend - suffocating me - please help

I have a friend whom I adore, she however cares for nothing and no one - she has no other friends that give a damn. Everyone and anyone never has anything nice to say about her. She is selfsish and onyl thinks about herself - even her family do not like her and only tolerate her cos they are family.
She always wants to do what she wants - if we go anywhere i always pay for petrol ( its her car) if I ask her to take me anywhere I always give her about R100 for petrol cos I take into accoutn that besides asking her for her time, its also wear and tear on the car, well when we go anyehere and its no "happening"" for her - she spoils the party for everyone else....
She is vey demanding and I feel I cannot be free ( emotionally) i have once sat her down and spoke to her about how suffocated I feel - she said that I was exaggerating - I just cant take this - and emotional blackmail does not work on me.
I want to end this friendship as she becomes verbally abusive - she swears liek the devil - she has good qualities but I ams tarting to believe that is a frotn as well - she has no other friends - what do i do

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Our expert says:
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Who on earth do you ADORE such a nasty person ? Simply tell her that you have already discussed the ways in which her behaviour makes you feel uncomfortable, and that you have decided that the time has come to end this relationship. Ignore all forms of emotional blackmail, and wish her well on her own. Maybe as ~Wings~ suggests, write her a letter, so you can set down all your points without beign interrupted by her.

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Our users say:
Posted by: waterblom | 2005/11/28

why would you want such a 'friend'?.

Reply to waterblom
Posted by: ~Wings~ | 2005/11/28

Don't be sucked dry by this emotional vampire and don't allow her to use you an an emotional garbage can!!!

Going insane, the best thing you can do, if you want to be a good friend is write her a letter, and hope that maybe she starts looking in, instead of blaming everyone else.
I had a friend like this once, and believe me, there is a phrase that goes, "you are classed with the people you mix with" and it's so true. We landed up in a court case cause this psycho turned on me and sued me for deformation of character. That costed me R3000.
People like that are better off alone, or at least in a mental institution!! (in my opinion)
Have the strength to be honest and walk away. This relationship is one way and based on selfishness from her side.

Best wishes!

Reply to ~Wings~

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