Posted by: GP | 2008/08/06

My friend

I am worried about my friend. She is talking about " ending it all" . She had two big ops in two years and she is still in a lot of physical pain. She is on all kinds of meds including ciprelax. She has a lot of emotional issues and she has been to therapy over the years. Her gandmother commited suicide. I am scared that my friend will do it too. I don' t know how to help her and I feel panicky when she is really down and talks about " ending it all"  What am I to do?!

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Our expert says:
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Pain makes depression wose, depression makes pain worse. But with proper expertise, depression AND pain can be properly controlled. Effective therapy raely takes "years" but the old-fashuioned analytical type is endless as well as worthless. A family history of suicide increases her risks. Talk with her calmly, maybe if ( as you imply ) her mood varies, at one of her slightly better times, and urge her to see a fresh psychiatrist for a second opinion and assessment with regard to better treatment of her depression, better management of her pain, and effective psychotherapy like CBT rather than the sort that mutters on forever without really getting anywhere. And urge her to tell her therapist, quickly, and whoever is prescribing the Cipralex, about her suicidal impulses.
As annie says, emphasize to her how much she means to you and others, and how you want her to be properly treated so she can get better.

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Posted by: annie | 2008/08/06

When somebody close to you commits suicide and you have " depression"  or has a lot of emotional issues there is always a risk you will see it as an outcome to all your problems. Support her and let her know that you are there for her. I know it may sound insane, but when she talks again about ending it all, ask her how she thought about doing it, maybe it will start her thinking not to do it at all. Let her know how much she means to you and everybody arounds her. In a way try to convince her suicide is not a solution to her problems and that there is other ways to find a solution although it may not always be easy to find it or it is not always as quick as we may want it.

Good luck.

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