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Question
Posted by: ceeeperson | 2008/06/05

my delema, please help

i hav a problem:( im in love with this guy. we met in september last year 2 months after i broke up with my 4year long exboyfriend. we started dating in december. from day one, i was at his house, and finally offically moved in in march. slowly but surely around that time i started to learn more and more about him. He's addicted to painkillers, he used to take around 20 a day. (also during the time i was with him and i didnt even know). He has a sad past, he found his mom dead when he was about twelve. He promised me he'd stop, but time after time i'd catch him, and it would break my heart knowing he lied. Then as time was going on, i kept discovering more thing he'd lied about... his salary, his past relationships, a suicide attempt that never really happened.... the list goes on and on. He;s now promised no more lies, but i cant explain to you how paranoid i am. I am losing my mind. I watch him every second, i listen so closely to everything he says. I feel miserable all the time - and iv always been such a happy person. He promises that there are no more lies or pills... but i just cant shrug the feelings i keep getting and i feel so insecure. Please help me, because: number 1, i love him so much and i want to make things work between us, i really really do.. and number 2, i know if he loses me, he wont be able to cope.. PLEASE HELP i need to know how to help him, and help myself.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Being addicted to painkillers is obviously a problem, and can be angerous, depending on the analgesics being abused, and the doses, and his general physical state. Sounds more broadly, though, that he has a low self-esteem, and lies about himself in order to try to feel like a better and bigger person than he actually is. He's not likely to beat this on his own, but should be able to do well with proper treatment, after assessment by a good local shrink. Encourage him to do this.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: almost mad | 2008/06/05

sumtimes its a pity game.... he knows he cant cope without you so he makes you feel sorry for him so you will stay with him. doc is right, he seems to have a self esteem issue too. i know this sounds lame....bbut have you ever tried a self help book, or a book that a family can read together. you get self help books like that. therapy, whether with a doc, or self help, has to take place. you cannot let him drag you down with him. If u must stay with him then you go see a therapist so you have someone to talk to and you might avoid slipping into depression.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: ceeeperson | 2008/06/05

thanks cybershrink but i know he wont see anyone, he said he has before and they didnt help. he said i saw a psychologist and the lady told his family personal things he told her. so his trust with doctors is completely broken. i think im the only one who can help him. he takes adco dols.. so its for the codeine. usually twenty at a time and once a day. but he says not for a while now. he has a very low self esteem and is very jealous and paranoid with me. i really dont know what to do :( im terrified im going to fall into depression..

Reply to ceeeperson

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