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Posted by: CP MOM | 2004/10/14

My dearest daughter !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My dearest daughter just "got" to me again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have not gone out for hmmm what 3 weeks ? Tuesday nite I went out and last nite she acted up.... Why ? Coz her routine was disturbed ? She was quite happy and even said bye when I left ? She's nearly 8 years old for over 1 year now we've been going through this "you have to sleep in your own bed" - thing.

Lately (3 months or so) we've decided that:

Jy kan bietjie by my "lê" maar
jy "dudu" in jou eie bed

She likes Shrek so I bought the whole works (and it's damn ugly!) I leave the bedlamp on, I put the 2 dolls on their own pillow, read to her etc. Is just as if she ..... agh I don't know

last nite when she started falling asleep lying with me on my bed (me reading and her playing) I said time to go to your bed to "dudu" she shouted at me : YOU MAMPARA! (the black lady who looks after her in the afternoon must have taught her that word) I said go to your room - she grabbed my cell phone bashed it against the door 3 times went to her room and readlly CLOSED the door, screaming - not just crying actually screaming like out of anger or frustration! I felt my heart jump I was so angry I wanted to go and beat her...

I just closed my bedroom door and put the tv loud and she cried herself to sleep....

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG ? It's nearly 1 year now - I'm so sick of THIS fight ! Over and Over and freaken Over again!!! I AM consistant - should I never ever allow her 2 just "lie" by me a little ?

Feel like putting her in a hostel this morning..... bad ja I know...

HELP !

ps - don't worry i'm not depro apart from this i'm fine - thanx guys

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi CP Mom !
You're continuing to do a great job, even if it doesn't always feel that way for you. She does need to learn that she can't always get what she wants, and needs to sleep in her own bed. I like lulu's idea that you join her in her own room, so that it is YOU who then moves away, when the time is suitable. Maybe she has got an idea at the back of her mind that being sen to her own room is some sort of punishment and that it means she must have done something wrong ( hence the "sollie" ).

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: CP MOM | 2004/10/14

ja dis soms net ietsie so klein's wat mens net nie besef nie !

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: ec | 2004/10/14

Lulu ek dink jy slaan die spyker oppie kop! Sterkte CP MOM!

Reply to ec
Posted by: lulu | 2004/10/14

Ag shame... Die onskuld van kinders darem, né? Ek het nou sommer trane in my oë.

Ek stel voor jy los haar om te speel by jou as jy lees, maar gaan so paar minute voor haar slaaptyd (8uur?) saam met haar na haar kamer toe en lê dan maar bietjie by haar. Moet haar nie tot OP slaaptyd by jou laat speel nie.

Net so bietjie van my eie ondervinding: My seun word 12. Die vyf of tien minute wat ek by hom alleen spandeer wanneer ek hulle in die bed sit is vir hom vreeslik belangrik. Ek het dit nooit besef nie, totdat ek een aand net by die deur gestaan het en sy lig af wou sit met 'n "Lekker slaap". Hy was bitterlik ontsteld oor my "verwerping". Ek was skoon confused, toe besef ek dat ek elke aand wanneer ek nag sê vir hom vir 'n paar minute luister na sy dag, room aan sy rug smeer of splinters uit sy voete krap en sulke simpel goedjies beteken die wêreld vir kinders.

Reply to lulu
Posted by: CP MOM | 2004/10/14

Lulu - jou raad is wonderlik soos gewoonlik, dankie.

Jy mag dalk net reg wees want sodra ek dan sê "bed toe met jou" dan sê sy "sollie" (sorry) dan verduidelik en aan haar dat daar's niks om oor "sollie" te sê nie - soo ja.....

Maar jy sien die probleem is ook dat ek nie tot wattertyd wil tv kyk in die sitkamer nie ek wil graag op die bed gaan lê en Huisgenoot lees of wat ookal wat dan gemaak ? Kan haar tog nie al 7 uur in die bed sit nie ?

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: lulu | 2004/10/14

Ek is baie jammer dat dinge nie goed gaan met jou sonstraaltjie nie. )o:

Ek het nie regtig raad vir jou doedoe probleem nie, CP MOM, maar ek haal beslis my hoed vir jou af omdat jy so hard probeer. Dit word gesien, glo my.

Probeer om eerder by haar in haar kamer te lê vir 'n rukkie as wat jy haar by jou laat lê. Sy voel miskien dat jy haar wegstuur van jou af en dat sy "gestraf" word om in haar eie bed te moet slaap. As jy by haar lê kan jy die situasie beheer en kan jy haar laat voel dat dit vir jou 'n "treat" is, eerder as wat sy voel jy doen haar 'n guns om haar by jou te laat lê. Maak dit sin?

Ek het twee "normale" seuntjies groot gemaak, so ek weet nie altyd of ek vir jou mag raad gee nie. Ek weet wel dat jou opvoedingsmetodes glad niks kortkom nie en dat jou geduld admirable is.

Sterkte!

Reply to lulu

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