Posted by: mick | 2012/02/01

my daughter was touched by my exboyfriend 2 yrs ago

I''m in desperate need of help. My 12yr old daughter told my new bfriend that my ex (who i broke up with 2yrs ago) touched her while he stayed with us for 6 months. My current bfriend told me abt her confession and now i dont know how to help her. My daughter is very close to my new bfriend and they get along well. But i have noticed over the past 3yrs that my daughter was ''difficult'', moody and withdrawn. she had always been a little hard to understand and i assumed her behaviour was just due to missing her dad etc. i confronted my ex and he admitted to being " inappropriate"  with her at times. My daughter hurts so much that my ex got away with it. she feels violated. i understand how she feels as i too was molested by my stepfather and he was so clever that he never raped me but just very quietly did inappropriate things which made it difficult to get people to believe your being abused. I am scared that my daughter also gets told that she wasn''t raped and he didn''t actually take her clothes off, only touched her over her clothes and kissed her. i am 37 and still struggling to get over the abuse. I dnt want my angel to suffer as well. How can i help her. My ex was accused of raping his step daughter and he got away with it cause everyone believed his story, even i believed him. I know the court or police wont help my daughter and this criminal will keep doing what he does. but i cant just leave it. Please help me help my daughter. please.

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Our expert says:
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She wasolested by her father, which is a ciminal matter. Discuss this calmly with her, and first persuade her to see a good local child psychologist or counsellor to deal with her feelings about this experience, and help her to recover well. She should also conider laying criminal charges against him. The police are often useless, but even an inquiry by them should bother him and may discourage him from molesting other kids.
I he was previously accused and talked his way out of it, a fresh accusation may persuade the authorities to review the previous case as well. I agree with ??

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Our users say:
Posted by: ?? | 2012/02/01

Open a criminal case against the ex IMMEDIATELY! He has to PAY. Your daughter needs to know that her Mama is a lioness who will protect her always. Dont delay, do it today. If the police don''t want to help, escalate it - speak to the station commander, go to another station, phone childline, speak to a family advocate.

BTW - if she said touch, you can bet your boots it went way further than that. I also said i was molested, when i meant i was raped.

And then... PLEASE make sure that she goes into counseling immediately.

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