Posted by: Stephanie | 2012/09/10

My daughter lied

I have this wonderful 17 year old daughter, which is a star student she is one off the school leaders, she met this boy in school who was caught with maruana last week, and is waiting for the schools decision what is going to happen further. She lied to me on Saturday to go out with this boy, I am her only parent..I am devastated I dont know how to handel this, Do I ground do I stop her from seeing this guy at school ...I dont want my childs live to be affected by this boy...PLEASE HELP TELL ME HOW TO HANDEL THIS FORWARD...I am desperate!!!

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Our expert says:
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Everybody lies, especially when they think they might get away with it and when it might hlp them keep out of trouble. You cant prevent her from seeing any boy at school, and trying too hard to do so may make her more likeyl to do so anyway, and to lie about it.
The best safeguard of all is to develop a comfortably trusting relationship with your dauhter, so she can feel safe to talk with you about ANYTHING that might worry her. Then she could have felt safe t talk to you about the boy she fancied who was geting into trouble. Rather than making a catastrophe out of this, chat about how hard it is to make choices and decisions at times, about nwhat it is she likes about this boy ; about whether she recognizes the risks of drugs, and the troubles he might be getting himself into, and so on,
START the conversations now

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Our users say:
Posted by: Tanya | 2012/09/10

I have 3 adult children now but remember all the hassles of dealing with children in their late teens.

I always similated bringing children up with ''flying a kite'' - you know, like holding that string tightly to me when they are babies and as they grow up letting it go slowly slowly. Of course now and again you have to reign it in when things get out of hand which, of course, they often did! The greatest pleasure is when you can let go of the string completely, and that for me only happened when they were +- 21 years old.

One of the bigget problems with children lying about where and with whom they are with, is that IF something happens and they dont come home, the parents would not know where to start looking for them. You must explain this to your daughter and ensure that she knows what dangers lie out there. I used to make my children read any news items regarding what happens in this perilous world as sometimes they think you''re talking nonsense. Scare tactics work wonders.

Generally if teenagers have to lie they know they are doing something wrong, and if they doing something wrong they could get into trouble.

If your lines of communication are open and you can both discuss any subject to each other it could help. Also education, education, education! Not only in maths, science, etc. but life in general.

Good luck.

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