Posted by: Troubled Mom | 2009/02/03

My daughter is lying and stealing

I have a 12 year old daughter who will be 13 in July. Last year we discovered that she steals - donno how long it was going on. She stole money from my purse and my husband' s wallet. The other day I saw an empty bottle of cider outside her room but she swore she didn' t put it there. Last year November she took my husband' s cell phone. I asked her a hundred times if she had taken it and I even begged her to put it back somewhere if she took it because it was a work phone and my husband was supposed to pay it back. My sister saw the phone in December under her pillow at my mother' s house - she goes there for school holidays. When she was asked why she took the phone she said she wants her father - my husband is not her father, she never met her father because he left me while I was still pregnant with her.
We are now seeing a psychologist but I donno if it helps because she is a great pretender - I know she will behave like an angel when she is with the doc. When I ask her what they talk about she says she is not supposed to tell me, but she says she just gets bored in there.
Yesterday while she was with the psychologist I went thru her phone and saw that she has been phoning a classmate of my sister' s. It turns out she was pretending to be my sister and this guy was not aware. My sister is 21. How do I deal with all this? It' s becoming too much for me and I' m beginning to fear my own daughter.
(Sorry for the long post!!)

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Our expert says:
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It would be useful if you could ensure that the psychologist has all the information about the lying and provide them with regular updates if it continues to happen. Whilst there will need to be confidentiality for your daughter, this is within certain limits and also remember that it will take time for the psychologist to get to grips with the issues and bring about change.

If you feel that you need extra support, speak with the psychologist about who you might see for parent support or counselling.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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