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Question
Posted by: Bronwyn | 2007/11/29

My daughter

Hi CS,

I am a single mom of a 3 1/2 year old little girl. We have never been apart for longer than a night. On the 26th December i am leaving for the UK for a week (on my own) to visit a friend. My daughter will be staying with my parents who she is extremely close with and very content. I am just a little worried that she will not cope without me for the week... AND.. what is the best way to explain to her that i am going to be going away for a week but will be phoning her morning and nite time...
Please give me some advice so that she may be able to understand.

Thank you
Mom

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Be cautious mainly that she could well pick up on your anxiety, and feel anxious because of that. Make an adventure out of it, and remind her of your confidence about how well you're sure she will handle the experience. Kids are generally far more resilient than we expect. You yourself may well find the experience more troubling than she does !
In World War II it was found that kids coped surprisingly well with the BLitz in London, with nightly bombings and the destruction of whole local streets --- IF their parents were relatively calm and confident about it

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: bronwyn | 2007/12/06

Hi Nazz,

Every single day my daughter goes to daycare and my mom fetches her at 14h00, after work i fetch her from my mom and dad at 17h00, she absolutely idolizes my parents and she is their whole world. She is in the best possible care i could ever wish. I understand your concerns because you almost lost your child but Naz, i am going away for 7 days, that's it. My daughter goes everywhere with me, i don't leave her for a second, she is my whole life. The reason why i am not taking her is because it is freezing cold there and i have planned a summer holiday for her and i in february. I cannot afford both trips and she would far prefer the beach to the freezing cold.
In terms of the trust, i agree with you, you cannot trust just anyone, this is my parents we are talking about, their life revolves around my daughter.
You never offended me.. appreciate your concern. x

Reply to bronwyn
Posted by: nazz | 2007/11/30

bronwyn what if something happens to you or ur child will you be able to live with that????
life is tooo short... why dnt u take ur child with you?
i am not trying to say that you are inconsiderate or something... but i almost lost my child when she was 3weeks old.... i think in these days we need to be so careful where our children are and u cannot trust anyone these days....
i am sorry if i did offend you in any way.... it was not my intentions.....

Reply to nazz
Posted by: BRONWYN | 2007/11/29

Nazz,

In all the time i have had my daughter, i have never left her side, been by her every second and bringing her up in the best possible way with all the right morals and beliefs that i can possibly install in her.
How dare you say that i am leaving my child, i am merely taking a very small break for a week with the knowledge that should there be the slightest distress felt by her, i will be on the next plane back.
Don't judge, what you are doing is extremely unfair.

Reply to BRONWYN
Posted by: nazz | 2007/11/29

how can u leave ur child like that..
i could never do that .... my child never goes without me anywhere....i cant see myself doing that as a mother.... i love her tooo much

Reply to nazz
Posted by: bronwyn | 2007/11/29

Thanks for the advice. The calendar was my first thought :-)

Will sure try not be anxious, i'm probably going to battle more than she will.
x

Reply to bronwyn
Posted by: Maria | 2007/11/29

RP is right, if you are ok with it, she will probably not be too anxious. You can make a calender for her showing the days, and granny can help her mark off a day every night.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: RP | 2007/11/29

Its going to be hard for her but she will survive a lot easier than you think, and its not unhealthy or damaging for her at this age. Try seperating your anxiety from hers. Let her know you love her but try not to let her see you anxious about it, as it will only make it worse for her. Make sure you are consistent with your calls, timing etc. You will probably notice that by the end of the week she may be too busy to come to the phone somtimes;) Thats also a good thing.

Reply to RP

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