Our expert says:
I don't know who told you I was wise, but obviously, they themselves are wise. Extraordinarily so !
It may well be that your child has different skills and abilities to yours, and by expecting her not only to excel, but to do so in the way you did, you may be placing unhelpful extra pressure on yourself and on her. being made to feel anxious herself, or even just having a very anxious mom, may significantly reduce a child's ability to handle their learning.
And of course wshe might also learn in ways different to the way you do ; and maybe your teaching methods don't match what her teachers at school do, which can confuse her.
That she under-performs when anxious in exams, suggests that her learning and remembering, and performing in that sort of task, is greatly reduced by stress and anxiety, as is often the case in even very able kids.
Have you had a relaxed chat with her teachers ? Maybe they have a different impression of her, and maybe their assessment of how she performs will be useful to you. I worry a bit when you speak of "handling her academically", which is usually seen as the teacher's task, while mom is often best used as a source of comfort, calm, and encouragement as such, rather than as an academic wrangler.
A child psychologist might be able to assess both of you usefully, and to give helpful advice in detail. A personal counsellor might help you to sort out your own expectations, why you seem to be feeling so disappointed about a nice child who is probably at least average in her schoolwork - what do you expect of her, and are you able to love and support and take joy in her, even if she doesn't turn out to be academically very able ? THink through - what are her other acomplishments and pleasant characteristics you can also feel proud of - how does she treat other people, animals, how does she manage household chores, hobbies, whatever else ?
Also, meanwhile, try to shift the emphasis. Instead of hovering anxiously and worrying about her every error, hesitation, or failure to understand things you already know well, try to catch her getting things right ! Try to spot and comment cheerfully on, the parts of her homework she is doing correctly and well, so as to improve her self-confidence, and convey the message that she is doing fine, and then she is better able to be encouraged to tackle the areas where she is having more troubles.
Work towards making her interactions with you, particularly about learning matters, pleasant and something she will look forward to, rather than, perhaps, freezing and expecting criticism, voiced or implied. pend pleasant time with her on other things - hobbies, mutual interests, and especially on whatever are her own interests.
Knowing ehr interests better, one can use them to tie in to math and science princip[les that turn up in her homework, to help her understand them.
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