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Question
Posted by: lulu | 2004/10/22

My children - FOR SHERRY

Hi,

Welcome. (o:

Yes, my children live with me and my 2nd hubby. His children live with their mom, but I don't think she's doing such a good job. Just my personal opinion...

Unfortunately, you don't give much info on exactly WHAT you want your stepkids' mother to get involved with. Everything in their lives? School? Money?

My take on ex's involvement is simple: Unless you feel that you cannot cope being the substitute mommy for your step children, don't force involvement from her. As long as you fill the mommy gap, the kids will not lack anything. I have been told before that I'm wrong about this, but I firmly believe that DNA or blood does NOT make you a mother. It's what's in your heart that makes you a mother. The kids could hurt about her non involvement now, but as long as you are there to pick up the pieces and hand the tissues, they will realise who their "real" mother was one day.

Hope this answers your question? Feel free to ask more if you feel I can help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I agree with lulu. Hearts make mothers, and fathers, not sperm and eggs --- those just create life. Mothers and fathers raise those lives with love and care. Don't worry about not understanding her, you don't need to. Just be the naturally looving person yoyu are, and you'll be good for them,

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sherry | 2004/10/22

Hi LULU

Thanks so much its not that I cant cope my Husband is very involved and we really all do get on ( I have kids of my own) we are "one big happy family" so to speak.

The reason I am asking these questions is that I feel that their mom should be more interested in them ( she phns may once every two months they last saw her in april).

Maybe I just cant understand how a mom can walk away from her kids

Thanks once again
luv
Sherry

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