Our expert says:
T, sounds like you really need a good legal opion and discussion of your legal options, though it's not entirely clear what you want here --- you say he DOES pay maintenance ( no benefit to you or the child in trying to do without that ). Maybe counselling could help you decide. But it sounds as if the main thing that's concerning you is his blow hot / blow cold, on and off relationship with you and the child. Certainly for him to weep in front of her could only be confusing to her. Maybe make one last attempt to discuss all this with him, and insist on a decision. Either he maintains a consistent even if infrequent presence in her life, and it hardly sounds as if he's capabl;e of this, or he would probably do better to stay away from her and maybe think of some therapy / counselling for himself. You might not find it hard to persuade a court to grant an order preventing him from mischievous and upsetting random visits to her.
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