Our expert says:
There's obviously no universal law about this. One good answer is: the right time to tell her is when she asks ; as lying to her or fudging the issue wouldn't help at all if she were asking. Two modifiers for that/ One is she may have so clearly assumed that he's her dad, that she might not get around to asking, in which case one would need to take the initiative yourself, then maybe better when she's a bit older, maybe around teenage years, but any nearly relevant conversation on her side may give an earlier opportunity ; and the other would be your regference to someone else telling her out of vengeance or spite. Now, there may be no such person who one could anticipate might do so ; or there could be a specific someone who well might do it. If it seemed reasonably likely ( eg biological father starting to enquire about seeing her again, then you'd want to raise te matter with her yourself.
By 5 she's old enough to understand, and one;s message would be about the facts, but including the fact that her dad is a special dad who chose to have her as his daughter, so much did he love her and her mother.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.