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Question
Posted by: nn | 2008/06/23

my cheating thoughts make me insecure

I have been with my bf for a year now. Previous I was with him for 18 months. Broke up for 2 years and been back together for 1 year now. In the past he was secretive and lied to me, etc. Since been back together with him, he has been completely honest with me. I think he learnt his lesson from before and he changed because he wants me in his life. Anyway, because of the past I have trouble trusting him now. And the past 2 weeks I have just had this insecure feeling in my tummy and I cannot shake it. I have no reason to not trust him and he has not given me a reason either. Our relationship has never been great when it comes to $ex. And I keep on thinking of cheating on him. I think about it but don’t think I could do it. So I think my insecurities are based on my cheating thoughts. I cannot get rid of this insecure feeling and I told my boyfriend on the weekend that I trust him. But in a way I do and in a way I don’t. I need to stop feeling like this. Any advise?

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Our expert says:
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Yes, as Maria says, surely some relationship counselling would help you both ? And most problems elating to sex can also be dealt with effectively in such counselling

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Our users say:
Posted by: optimism | 2008/06/23

I know the feeling I have been in the same situation its because you keep thinking about what he has done in the past & you not willing to let it go.I have learnt that life is what we make of it & although its true that a leopard cant change its spots but its also true that a person can change for the better & if you can really see that your partner is truly sorry & you can see that sincere change in him why not give them the benefit of the doubt. I was very hard on my bf but now I trust him & he has come a long way. Good luck I hope things work out for you.

Reply to optimism
Posted by: Maria | 2008/06/23

Is it him you don't trust, or yourself? You have a lot of history together. Perhaps some relationship counselling will help you to sort out these issues?

Reply to Maria

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