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Question
Posted by: Suzy | 2007/03/01

My boyfriend's mood

I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and though we argue a lot, we are happy.. But over the last 4 months he has been getting very angry and upset about everything.. I asked him what's wrong many times and he said I must stop asking it's just making it worse. Last night finally he told me that he is thinking how nice it would be to die. And if he is dead then he can finally be who he wants to be. And he sees no point in living, no point in working, going out etc. I was really shocked as he was always so positive and happy.. Im not sure what is causing this.. We met when his then girlfriend went overseas to study. He decided not to wait for her and go on with his life.. He met me and we started going out. But throughout the years there has been a few times he lied to me bout his ex, for example that she emailed or that he saw her.. He did tell me long afterwards though.. and said he was scared to mention it coz I am a bit jealous. Then recently, a few months ago she came back from overseas to live in the same town we live in. We saw her by accident at a shopping mall and it was very awkward. Im just scared that he is in this mood becoz he saw his ex again and that he is afraid to tell me who he really wants to be with.. I dont know what else can be causing it.. He is 22. Can the shrink please help me?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He sounds very seriouslty Depressed, and in rather urgent need of treatment for it. This sounds far more urgent than choosing between you and his ex, with all respect. Can you persuade him to see a good local shrink for a proper assessment and advice on treatment ? If he really thinks he wants to die ( which is hardly a way to "finally be who he wants to be" ) then he is unlikely to care who his gf is

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Our users say:
Posted by: Suzy | 2007/03/02

But I told him honestly that if he wants to take a break or break up he must just tell me.. But then he says no he loves me, he dont want a breakup.. And he said he been thinking bout death every day for a few years now.. I never knew this until recently with his behaviour and whole ex story.

Reply to Suzy
Posted by: Blondie.. | 2007/03/01

..I don't know suzy, young guys that have these types of mood swings normally end up wanting their freedom..take it from someone who has recently been dumped. My ex and I are both 24 and he was so immature and moody.

I guess we can't help who we fall in love with, but I have learned a lot from the relationship and am more sure of what I want from a life partner.

Sometimes when people are trouble by their thought they tend to act different. Maybe he's actually trying to tell you something by saying that he want's to die. He's misrable..but what about?

Reply to Blondie..
Posted by: Suzy | 2007/03/01

Im 24

Reply to Suzy
Posted by: Blondie.. | 2007/03/01

Sure, its possible that he might have mixed emotions about seeing his ex.

She's back in town, accept it. Plus, he is still so young and if he want to break free and make changes, he will. Keep this in mind, it will spare you some heart ache.

How old are you?

Reply to Blondie..

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