Posted by: Ben | 2005/11/24

my boyfriend left for London

Hi! This is probibly a question that cant be answerd...but it helps to hear some advice.

I've been with this guy for a year and six months...2 weeks ago he left for England for a year. We have a very honest relationship and the communication is great. Thats why we decided together that we are each alowed to be free untill we meet again. So, in other words when we see eachother we are a couple and when we dont were not. So, its kinda like a long distance open relationship....

However I've spoken to so many people that did the exact same thing and it didnt work out in the long run. I REALLY love this guy and I know he loves me, how do we keep "time' from changeing things? It feels like he is gone forever and forever is a long time...and we all know that time has a way of changeing things...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Ben and thanks for posting here.

As you know every relationship is unique and there's no way to predict what will transpire. Your relationship is at a relatively young age for a one-year separation, and I hope that you've arranged at least one or two holidays during that year when you can be together. Ideally the dates for seeing each other would have been established before he left, creating a sense of a 'horizon' you can both look forward to. No doubt you are in regular communication with each other and it is important that you both be really honest about your feelings. I hope you have a good network of friends to support you while he's away. Please keep us posted on how you're doing.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: John | 2005/11/27

Hi there Ben
Firstly I was in that same boat and currently me and my man are going strong for almost 12 years.

Taking a break from each other is sometimes very good.

Ian and myself made a promise to each other that we are going to be committed to each other.

This long distance open relationship is not going to work out because you are going to seek comfort and tears in some body elses arms

If you love this person with your whole heart and soul , you should fight for him and I bet he is doing the same thing.

Do not screw up something that can be yours for a lifetime one mistake can cause you guys years of pain and self destruct

I bet he loves you with his whole heart and soul

I wish you all the best with all the choices you guys make at the end it is worth waiting for

Reply to John
Posted by: Peter | 2005/11/24


when you really love someone fight for him dont let him go, love is not something that knocks on our door everyday it just happens, when you really love someone you never stop loving them. People need to be with their loved ones daily. The saying if you love someone let him free if he comes back to you his yours if he does not he never was also has relevance. I just can never understand if people are genuinely in love why they leave their partner to go overseas it just does not make up. Real love does not work that way. Maybe he needs time. If I were you I would tell him that I miss him alot I love him and I need to be with him, there must be give and take. If there is no effort from his side then you are going to get hurt my friend..... take holiday.....and move on.

Reply to Peter

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