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Question
Posted by: Koi | 2005/07/26

My 7 yr old boy

My 7 year old sometimes poos on his pants when in school, when I ask why, he says it happens when they are playing and when he excuses himself to go to the toilet his friends press him to play on. I have tried explaining to him that he may get infections and that it may affect his self confidence and performance in class when his friends/classmates move away from him because he is smelling. I have tried all sorts of ways to try and make him stop, I have tried denying him watching tely on evennings that he's pooed on his pants, I have tried denying him goodies when he does it and rewards him when he does not, I have tried buying his younger brother a toy and leaving him out, I haev even tried to pinch and spanking!!!! honestly I really do not know how to deal with his and have just been trying what I imagined will work but to no avail. is this an indication that something is wrong or he does he need some attention?? please help me figure out whats happening to my boy and by the way at what age would be best for a child to start being taught how to take care of stuff like spreading beds, polishing shoes, bathing by themselves? etc.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

His explanation might be true on one occasion, but surely any child would learn from just one such event, to ignore his friends and go to the toilet when he needs to go. This could be a condition Child Psychiatrists and Child Psychologists call Encopresis, which is when a child passes his stools in the wrong places or times, and it is often a sign that the child is significantly upset about something. It would be best if you could try to arrange for him to see a Child shrink, for assessment.
Other mothers will surely respond to your second question, too. I think a child can start learning self-care tasks as soon as they are able to, and surely long before 7.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Belinda | 2005/07/27

Hi Koi

My daughter is 5 and she has been making her bed, bathing herself, doing up her shoe laces, getting her own water and snacks for over a year now. She does not do all of them perfectly yet but she tries and it give her alot of self confidence. I just pop into the bathroom every now and then to make sure she is OK. Start him off slowly and don't expect him to do a perfect job. Rather encourage him & tell him he is doing a great job.

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