Our expert says:
This sounds like one of the many ways in which cellphones cause damage. I don't believe any child should have automatic unlimited use of their cellphone. It makes no sense to "ground" a child, or insist very reasonably that they finish their homework before seeing friends, if they can hapilly spend hours chatting to those friends instead of doing homework.
Thank goodness she was NOT out with the bf, especially if he moves in circles where people get stabbed. She is already being manipulative. I wonder, curiously, whether her twin brother might have any ideas for you on how to be helpful in this situation.
I like your fiancee's idea of a formal and written contract, with some components negotiated with her, but with you being the boss. And make the terms specific. "giving schoolwork a priority" is very vague, for instance, and can lead to endless arguments as to whether she has or has not done so. Tie things to specified completion of all homework assignments and to a distinct improvement in school marks at least to the levels she was previously achieving. And if she insists that she is adult enough to handle an older bf, she is adult enough to keep to such a contract, and not doing so would question her own argument that she is old enough to handle the relationship.
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