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Question
Posted by: Roxy Chick | 2004/02/19

Must i break up?

HI
Im 21 Years of age...
Im dating this real GREAT guy for 7 months now. Only problem is, his christian and im muslim. Neither of us are willing to change for each other coz we both love our religions and respect each other too much.

Recently my parents has been pressurizing me to break up with him. And we dont want to. They are really controlling and im scared to say anything about it.
What should i do? Coz things with me and my parents arent so great right now. We constantly fighting and i hate every minute of it. I hate lying to them, but im so clueless i need HELP!!!!

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Our expert says:
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Dear Roxy Chick,
Is lying necessary ? Maybe you're living at home, which might complicate things. But you are of adult age, and entitled to make your own decisions, so you are allowed to marry who you please, without parental consent. However, I understand that you would prefer their consent and support, and this may become possible. The situation sounds like it's complicated by other issues leading to discord between you and your parents, which also need to be sorted out.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Roxy Chick | 2004/03/25

Thanx everyone for making things SO clear to me. Speciallt soul, i needed that eye opener, and you did it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart

Reply to Roxy Chick
Posted by: Confused | 2004/02/20

i`m 20&i`m in a dilemma.there`s a guy "A" who thinks that we are dating&i kinda like him but not enough.he isn`t what i want in a man nor who i want.we used to date about a year ago&i broke up with him without a reason because i had found someone else "B"&he "A" didn`t deserve what i was doing to him."B" was wonderful&things were going strong&while dating "B" i found the man of my dreams "C".i had to break "B"`s heart like i did to "A" because finally in my life i found who my heart desired."C" was all i wanted in a man&i would do anything for him,unfortunately "C" did something unforgivable&broke my heart in pieces.i still love him "C" today,it`s been 4 months since i left him&i`m still not over him,i could never stop loving him "C"&i`ve tried hard to forget him but i just cant.i had 2 guys after him but all i still wanted was him "C".i could take him "C"back which i want to do but it`s not the moral thing to do because he`ll never change&the heartache he caused will always be there."A" always phoned after me&we kept in touch&we saw each other a few times&he still wants me back or thinks he has me back but i dont love&i dont think i ever will."B" i know still loves me but hates me for what i did to him but we still talk.i dont talk to "C" anymore&when i see him it hurts not to be with him&i know i`m stubborn as much as i love him&i could accept what he did but it`s unethical.i dont know how to tell "A" that i`m not over "C"&i`ll never be&that my heart belongs to "C".i luv "C"&him only for eternity."A" never had a girlfriend after me&i feel so sorry for him&i think it`s giving him false hope. pls help,i know i should go to the one who loves me&not the one i love but i cant let him "A" live in a fantasy world&i cant place feelings that are not there.should i follow my heart or my head?

Reply to Confused
Posted by: mimi | 2004/02/20

at the moment im in the exact same predicament as you in!im also a muslim girl going out with a christian guy...my parents are ok about it,its just my moms family that has a problem with it!my step sister is currently married to a christian guy and both of them didnt change their religion for one another!i believe that a person must not change a religion because they need to,but because they want to.that way that person would love the religion more! i really do love my boyfriend but at this moment we both are not prepared to change our religion fo one another!and one day i do wish tha we could get married without any hassles!

Reply to mimi
Posted by: Soul | 2004/02/19

Religion is a serious issue and nietherone of you are prepared to change for the other.
Why stay in a relationship where yo'll be making things alot harder in the long run.
You are still young and will meet many young men who share the same religion as yourself.
You are already having problems with your parents and if you don't end it and he does in the near will all this unhappiness between you and your parents be worth all this misery your going through right now, the longer you leave it the worse it's going to get.

it is your choice and it is your happiness that's at steak but if niether of you are will to change then I ask you why continue.
Remember blood is thicker than water. B/f come and go parents are forever.

Take Care
Soul

Reply to Soul
Posted by: volcano | 2004/02/19

I take it that you and your boyfriend have discussed the religion at length eg what about future children, etc. Explain to your parents that even if you do get married, each will retain his own faith. Maybe they will accept that.

Reply to volcano

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