Posted by: Worried Daughter | 2008/10/17

move out or stay

Please help, My Parents have been together for almost 17 mother came from very poor family,she was young at that time,when he moved in with my Step father, she was doing matric ,and he send her to college to do a diploma in teaching with ups and down with the Grace of God she completed(2001).and started to look for a job.

She got permanant job in 2005,and started helping her husband to build a new house, the problem started when the houseisfinished,saying he was doing everything without my mothers help which is a big lie,He invites his ex wife and children to see his development which was made by my mom, thinks get sour between them,now it seems like the ex-wife wants to come and stay with my stepfather.His ex -wife got married after their divorce and got divorce again from the recent marriage and now she wants to come back to my step father it seems like my stepfather is allowing that because they used to call each other and visit each other.He have two adult children her and the other youngest three from different relationship.

My mother does not have any children with him am the only one.
The reason why my step father divorce his ex-wife is that she was cheating on him and got impregnate (third born in 1988),moved on with the new lover and got married again.After that my Stepfather want to go back to his ex. We tried to talk to him about this HE SAID IF U WANT TO GO U CAN GO AND LEAVE MY HOUSE AND ME ALONE.He is claiming that he was doing everything in the house. I would like to thank him for giving my mother the education but i cant tolerate the fact that he is treating her like she is nothing. I once told my mom that she have to move on with her life, she said to me is not easy to just leave someone one love and the developments that she made. And she can do a better than him and build a house of her own and live peaceful life without him. But she is still busy living with him and i dont know whats wrong with her .She can divorce him.and the house is not important the important thing is her life i mean the safety.

What bother me a lot is he invites his ex wife , thats shows he doesn' t respect his wife and he have lots of kids outside who visit him regularly with discussing anything with his wife he just do anything, everything to us is a surprise.Nowadays he is always moody and on top of that he is having piles (anus bleeding)problem, my mom has to wash sheets nearly everyday
and he doesn' t give a damn about that!He is alcoholic and he listen to outside people i come home making accusation and shouts loud if the neighbors can hear him.I m tired of him i ve lost respect for him.pls help me this man doest use his mind he listen to everybody in shebeens and he is turning 60 in 2010 (Teacher) maybe his ex wants his pension money. Pls help me with advise s pls ignore my English.
His adult children their using and manipulating their father to get their parents back together.I M so worried about my mom she is always unhappy and controlled by her so called husband.I really hate him, for treating my mom so bad if u love someone u don' t want those people to be hurt but my stepfather hurts my mom all this 17 mom is 42 ..ignore my grammar

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I think you and your mom need good legal advice, especially as regards what she can prove of her contribution to the building of this house, and her rights to decide how it is used. He sounds too old to change his ways, especially if he is alcoholic as well, and he surely is not treating your mom with the sort of respect she deserves. Maybe she should ask the lawyer also about divorce and whether she could claim anything from him, which might make him take this more seriously

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Our users say:
Posted by: Hi baby!! | 2008/10/17

Ur mom needs to file for divorce and the court will decide who muyst take the house.She is putting herself in danger by stayng with that man.He can kill her and all her pensions will belong to him,thenm he will kick u out and stay with the ex peacefully.Pls pray that ur mom gets a wake up call soon,if not for her then for ur sake.

Good luck my darling,u will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Reply to Hi baby!!

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