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Question
Posted by: A MOM | 2007/05/14

MOTHERS DAY

How am I suppose to react to my stepchild who is given a present by my husband to give to me on Mothersday and she gives it to her mother ?

She is 9.

I am really hurt by this.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Vist | 2007/05/14

A MOM ... did you or your husband ask the child what made her decide to do that??

Maybe she simply felt guilty seeing her Biological mom - and not giving her anything for mothers day? To a 9 yr old, mothers day is made such a fuss of ...

Reply to Vist
Posted by: Ness | 2007/05/14

Good then I will tell you that my daughter is 8. She has changed, is asking questions, she's looking around and taking lots more in.

Thats all that is happening here. She has developed a conscience. She was probably so secure in your love that she did not think she would hurt you but is insecure in her mums.

My best advice is to send her off to chat to someone. Let them assess if there is a problem. I don't think the present is the issue, you should be more worried that she is seeking approval from a woman that is clearly unfit.

I would suggest that you handle this lovingly with a councillar before she hits her teens and starts her lovely hormone years.

Reply to Ness
Posted by: Shae | 2007/05/14

If i am ever in that sitatuation, im sure i wll do whats best for child, regardless of whether i like it or not - after all - thats what seperates a responsible adult from a immature one. One has to be selfless when it comes to kids, after all, being their care-takers doesnt end at feeding and clothing htme but also at being there for them emotionally.

Reply to Shae
Posted by: A MOM | 2007/05/14

I hope Shae that you never have to raise another woman's child for 5 years just to be kicked in the face.

Reply to A MOM
Posted by: Shae | 2007/05/14

If you can maybe just for a second try and think how the child must feel being forced to choose..................

Reply to Shae
Posted by: A MOM | 2007/05/14

I do appreciate what you all have to say, I really do and no Ness that is not what I wanted to hear. If you can maybe just for a second try and think how I feel.

Reply to A MOM
Posted by: Shae | 2007/05/14

Put yourself in the child's shoes. Regardless of the issues you and your husband have with the biological mother, she is still the child's mom, and will always be. Do not hold the child responsible for the messes the adults caused and try to look beyond yourself and be a bigger person.

Reply to Shae
Posted by: Lims | 2007/05/14

The mother might "not be worth being called MOM".But that does not make her less of a mother to her daughter.

And if you knew that she would be with her mother hubby should have taken the child shopping to get her mother something.The child should have never been put in a situation where she finds herself needing to choose between her parents.

How you suppose to react to the child is with love and understanding that the situation she was put in was unfair and never needs to happen again.take it as a lesson to you and your husband never to disregard the child feelings when it comes to her mother.And that does not mean the child loves you anyless or does not appreciate what you do for her.

Reply to Lims
Posted by: Ness | 2007/05/14

Mom you obviously don't want to hear anything other than she is an ungrateful little brat so there you go.

If you feel i'm wrong then please re read what people have written because they are only trying to give you good advice

Reply to Ness
Posted by: A MOM | 2007/05/14

You ask why must I get the luxuries?

Because I,we, are the ones who is raising her every day of her life.

Reply to A MOM
Posted by: A MOM | 2007/05/14

The mom has never been given anything from us for Mothersday as she is in his opinion not worth being called a mom.

She only ever takes this child, which we raise and I have legally adopted, on her birthday and it happened to fall over the mothersday weekend.

Reply to A MOM
Posted by: Me | 2007/05/14

She did a right thing - you and your husband are selfish - you should've thought of her biological mother too - she gave birth to her afterall - why must you get all the luxuries and not her mother?

Reply to Me
Posted by: Shae | 2007/05/14

A Mom, to bring you back to the point Lims made,
"Maybe you should look at it from her point of view. She is given a present to give to her stepmother only and not her mother. How is she to feel to choose her stepmother over her mother:

Was she given a present to give to her real mom? And if so, was it as good a present as the one she was meant to give to you? Perhaps you should look at this from A MOM'S perspective and see that the child is perhaps feelignt torn. Im sorry, you named yourself A Mom but all i see is the reaction of a stepmom wanting to take the place of a real mom.

Reply to Shae
Posted by: A MOM | 2007/05/14

This is a tradition we do every year, she did not misunderstand.

Reply to A MOM
Posted by: Lims | 2007/05/14

Maybe you should look at it from her point of view. She is given a present to give to her stepmother only and not her mother. How is she to feel to choose her stepmother over her mother.

Or maybe she just miss understood the instruction to give it to you.

Reply to Lims

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