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Question
Posted by: 2b or not 2b | 2003/02/28

??motherhood

can anyone give some advice as to why a 30yr old woman would give up her 3 children aged(9;7;4 ) and refuse to have any contact with them a move to another province, only when she is begged does she send birthday money or a letter????????????

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Our expert says:
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Dear 2b and very much 2b.
On the face of it, this sounds inexplicable, without more details. Is there something else altogether happening in her life, to draw her to that other province ? Or were there problems at home that drove her away ? Was she, like Unhappy in the neighbouring question, someone who had all the workload and tasks piled on her, without reasonable help and support, until she gave up in despair and felt she had to leave, to escape ? Was she physically or emotionally abused, and similarly driven to escape ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Zeena | 2003/02/28

As I see it, this woman is probably slightly psychopathic, i.e. has no real conscience and is not able to love deeply, like other people. You probably have no choice but to bring up these kids as best you can. (I have no idea what the situation is regarding State help with finances).

It sounds as if you can forget about this strange woman ever really looking after her kids. She might want to see them for a short while, but she has no deep connection to them. It is peculiar -- I cannot imagine ever abandoning my child -- so I can only assume she has a serious underlying mental problem.

Do love your kids ... This is such a harsh world we live in, and all kids want is love and protection and security. Best of luck.

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Posted by: 2b or not 2b | 2003/02/28

I wish i had all the answeres to your questions i can only give you my side of the story, we were divoiced in 1999 because to state it quite bluntly we hated each other she wanted to abort our youngest but i talk her out of it and from there things went from bad to .... awful,she asked for custody i agreed because she really is a good mom but 6mnths after our divoiced she said that i must pls take the kids as she couldnt cope and that she was afraid of what she might do and that she had lost her job and was been evected from her home, i agreed and they lived with me for nearly 2 yrs she then found her self a good job moved into a new flat and asked to take them back again a agreed but the 3 mnths later she and the kids dispappeared for nearly 1 yr i went frantic looking for her, she eventually reappered and said that i must take the child she was going back to where she had been living in anoth province and said that there is no room for them in her life and could not take care of them and that where i stand today i really am happy to take care of my children and what nothing of her except for her to be part of her childrens life as they miss her and love her what can i do???

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