Posted by: Art | 2008/09/12

Mother/ son

My girl friend thinks it is normal to shower in front of her 13 year old son while he is in the bath. The son sees nothing wrong in it either. I think it is not healthy, or is it normal?

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Our expert says:
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Different families have different views on this. Some people have no issue with nakedness, others are not comfortable with this.

If it has always happened, her son will not see it as unusual. But perhaps as he hits puberty and he becomes more sexually aware he will not want this. Many people feel that at this point privacy becomes more important which is worth thinking about.

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Our users say:
Posted by: R | 2008/09/19

We have 2 sons 12/10 to be nke infront of each other is for us as eating breakfast, we have no problem to be seen naked or be together in the bathroom. The boys will for instance come and sit with us in our room while we are getting dressed for work or to go out for the evening asks us if the look OK for the event an so forth. We have no problem and at least they know want is going on and they don' t have to snoop on the net

Reply to R
Posted by: Me | 2008/09/19

We have 2 boys and a daughter in the house - 16/14/13. Since I can remember we had actually no problem with being nude infront with another. Yes I am Afrikaans and brought up in a very strick home environment. We just feel that it is natural and we can see it in our childrens behaviour as well. More relax about there own bodies as well as more openess in the house about sexual questions. We do respect one another and I for instance will never just walk into the childrens rooms when a door is close - rule number 1 in the house from time to time everybody needs their circle of privacy - granted. But it is no issue to get dressed/undressed or shower/bath together or in front of the other. And quite right we will let know if it is not convenient - all in respect for each other.

Reply to Me
Posted by: Kman | 2008/09/12

Hi There,

This question can be a tricky one. Some families have no problem with nudity while others do. I was thinking about this issue the other day. I was thinking about how a child " naturally"  develops a sense of modesty.
If you are okay with nudity, it' s fine. There is nothing wrong with nudity. However, if one of the parents is uncomfortable, the issue needs to be discussed. If naked bodies make one of you flustered and create an attitude of shame, its not a good idea.
If your comfortable with nudity in the home, but aren’ t sure if there is an age when it should stop, it is likely that your children will let you know when they want something to change. But they might not be comfortable saying something direct, so pay attention to your children and how they are reacting to your nudity. If they start spending more time in their room with their door closed, encourage them to know that’ s okay, but also talk to them about what’ s going on. Don’ t force them to talk, but make sure they know you’ re available and open to discussion. You may also want to offer that you can keep your door closed if that would make them more comfortable

Best of Luck

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