Posted by: Minkie | 2009/07/28

Mother in-law

I just need advice. A few months ago I have managed to arrange for a job at my current work for my sister-in-law, who is also married into this family. Now with every braai that we have, me and my sister-in-law chats allot about work related stuff, which we enjoy, because she is based at our other site, so the only time we can actually talk is when we get together with family braai' s. Our Mother-in-law, has a problem with this as she feels that we do not want to talk to her and that we give no attention to her, but all she can talks about is negative stuff ect. and the world is depro enough, I do like to speak positive things. Now my husband feels the same as his mother, and that we are the wrong people. My sister-in-law and I are in our later 20' s almost 30, and M-I-Law is now 64. Who do you think is handling the situation wrong? My hubby and I have words lately, because I think that MILaw is jealous that she is not more the " center"  of attention, and selfish. It is not like we talking the whole time about work, but we love chatting about these stuff. Your advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

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Our expert says:
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Does your MIL have nobody else to talk to at all ? And why not include her in your discussions, and leave it to her to drop out if she finds you boring with your shop-talk ? Why not pay her some more attention ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kaylie | 2009/07/30

Ignore the women. Even if you include her in the conversations she would want to take it all over and then she WOULD say something negative and spoil the whole thing. Dont feel guilty! I know this is difficult cause it might cause problems in your marriage cause the sons NEVER see their mothers mistakes. Believe me. My MIL is also 64 and I am 29. She is so negative and wants to discuss other peoples pitfalls all the time and then gloats when other people go through difficult times. I only see her family occassions and that is not that much. I decided not to go there or speak to her anymore other than when I HAVE to greet at family occassions. My marriage was/is falling apart because of her manipulation stunts and my husband cant even see it. So carry on if your job makes you feel positive and you are happy talking/discussing it dont feel bad cause even if you include her she will just damage it. Good luck!!!

Reply to Kaylie
Posted by: Gracie | 2009/07/29

Your MIL must get over herself - the world does not revolve around her! If she does not want to join in your conversations, leave her alone then! Why must you discuss mundane, everday topics just to suit her!? Uh pleezzzeee man!! She must FIFO!!

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: Really | 2009/07/29

Yeah.. give her some attention, that what ALL MILs want! It' s sick and crazy but very true!

Reply to Really

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