Our expert says:
It is totally and utterly impossible for anyone else to stop an alcoholic from drinking or messing up their lives, and we ought not to try to take that responsibility on ourselves. It can only be up to her. If and when she wants to stop drinking, she can do so, probably with the help of a good local shrink and rehab program, and AA. You can't do it for her. Don't agree to meet wih her when the meeting involves drinking. You can't MAKE her see anything, or GIVE her the will to move forwards -- you can't provide good sense like a blood transfusion. She has to want it and find it herself. Check if your local AA branches have an Al-Anon program for family members of alcoholics
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