Posted by: Nikki | 2003/12/09

Mother and Sister ignore my fiance....what to do?

I need some advice...I have had a passionate but occasionally tempestuous relationship with my now Fiance over the past 2 years. We have separated twice during that time - I would say mainly due to his unreasonable behaviour... He tended to be a control freak and began to bully me. I have understood the reasons behind this un-reasonable behaviour and have made the decision to stay with him but work on the dynamics of our relationship and try to move towards a healthier way of communicating and loving each other - it can be hard but it is working...we have our occasional glitches but then who dosent....
My family began by really liking him - its hard not to...he is very gregarious and has a strong character - I believe I do too. We all had alot of fun but then problems set in...he is still running a buisiness jointly with his ex and the relationship was very strained which was affecting the buisiness and his relationship with his son and his health (he was diagnosed with a bowel disease)...he became depressed. Unfortunately my family got involved with our problems - they consoled me when I was down - and were witness to me feeling heartbroken at times. He had a huge row with my mother and they had not spoken until very recently when he phoned my mother and offered to take her out for dinner as a peace offering - she never gave him an answer.

I left him some time in August and went back to my home - mainly to regain some balance and peace - I began taking anti-depressants as I had got to the end of my tether (I have two children, and a full time Job). I just wanted to lift myself out of the hole I found myself in.
I worked hard at sorting myself out and understanding the whole situation...and I talked to my partner about how to move on from this situation. We have begun reading 'Getting the love you want' together.
It is working well - My children and I love him very much and he loves me - and my children. We still live appart but stay together frequently....I feel that despite our difficulties we are strong and loytal to each other - all of us. We just took a few staps back in order to go forward together in the right direction.

Christmas is round the corner and my Mother and Sister have said that they do not want to see him atall - they say its too soon and that they are only being loyal to me. But this is obviously going to be difficult. I am going to France with him to visit his father over the Christmas week, but had hoped to visit my family, with my children and fiance on our return - but they only want to see me...
I am at a loss as to what to do.
My sister has just asked me to set a date for us to meet without him around...but I do not want to do this - I feel it is up to them to be mature about this and accept the situation...especially at Christmas

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