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Question
Posted by: Nikki | 2005/05/27

Mother and daughter relationship is non existant!

Since my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer everything changed. It almost feels like she blames me for the fact that she has breast cancer. I have been nothing more than supportive and still that doesn't count at all. What can I do to make things right? she has the option to see the shrink at the hospital but everytime they ask her how she's doing, then she makes up this story that she is handling everything ok. Yet at home it's like Satan lives there! Please help me. I'm going crazy because of this.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

People who develop cancer or any serious illness, usually experience mixed emotions, including anger, and an awareness of how unfair it feels, with perhaps a desire to blame someobody, anybody, else for the situation.
Check with CANSA, the national cancer association, as they may have a counsellor experienced in helping the families of people with cancer, who in a session could help you work on plans to handle this as well as possible, and maybe later persuade your mom to get the counselling and support she probably needs.
And understand that her anger isn't about you, but about her illness and her fear

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: unsatisfiable | 2005/05/27

Nikki you poor thing..I imagin your mom is scared to death with this she is lashing out not because she blames you but because she's scared and angry i imagin because this has happened to her which mean if worse goes to worst she wont be here for you and that is EVERY mothers nightmare not to be there for their children and if she goes to the doctor and tells them everything is fine go with her and let them know that everything is not fine i had to do that with my mother who had 9 heartattachs on fathers day last year but do that let the doctors know whats going on at home maybe they can help her.

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