Posted by: MARY | 2008/05/23


I am so frustrated with this problem. I get up evey mornnig at 5:30 to pack lunches for kids. Not for husband anymore, simple fact that he prefers take aways and he is so overweight but that is a discussion for another day. I have to wake up husband and 2 boys. 17 and 8. I take coffee to husband and milo to 8 yr old. Dad and 17 yr old wait until last moment to get ready and dad will rush down shouting I am going. They do not want to eat beakfast and I tried so many times that the Dad must be in control of breakfast. So I get uptight and start shouting that I am tired of them not getting up early, eat breakfast and go at the same time everyday. Now husband says that I disrupt the whole house with shouting. Must I leave them and only see to the 8 yr old. 17 yr can use his cellphone alarm to wake him up. Dad can have his coffee in the kitchen and I will get out of the way from 6:30. And they all going to bed at 21:00. Not that they are tired in the morning. Thanks for listening.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, I can hear how frustrating this may be for you, but the shouting clearly isn't doing anything useful, is it ? Why not simply leave them to their own devices, and deal with the 8 yr old, who sounds more co-operative. Why can't the 17-year-old make his own sandwiches ? And he and husband can make their own coffee if they want some. If they're late for work, that's their own affair. Don't sweat for them

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Our users say:
Posted by: sadi | 2008/05/23

Agree with the above. A friend of mine had the same problem.
Eventually she went on strike for a week, no cooking, no laundry, no dishes, no cleaning up, no grocerie shopping, no nothing!!! The change in attitude in the rest of the family by the following Monday was unbelievable. She treated herself to manicures, massages and facials the week she was on strike.
If the family wanted to know where something was her answer was "I dont know." She said it was very difficult not to jump in and start cleaning up. But it paid off.

Reply to sadi
Posted by: Gracie | 2008/05/23

I make coffee for my husband and I, cook porridge for 9 yr old son, but don't pack lunches. My husband makes sandwiches for him and my son and if I want to take something to work, I help myself. I make sure my son is up and dressed and give him his breakfast before I leave for work, but I leave my husband to do whatever he must. I work in a very stressful environment, rush home after work to collect son from school, rush home to cook dinner and see that son takes his shower - I think I do more than my fair share at home and bring in more than my fair share in the salary department too, so I believe that my husband can do certain things for himself! I am not his mommy who used to run around for him before we were married! I don't pick up after him and if he does not tell me that he needs anything, I won't ask him either. He is in his mid-thirties, not a kid anymore. Stop spoiling your husband and older son, they can take care of themselves!

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: Missouri | 2008/05/23

Hello Mary, perhaps all you should concern yourself with is your youngest one, let your hubby and older child look after themselves. Stop stressing yourself, if your hubby and son are late for work/school cos they cannot get out of bed, well then its their problem.

Reply to Missouri
Posted by: Moon | 2008/05/23

Hi Mary... Maybe you should. Maybe get the boys ready and leave hubby to do his own stuff. You want to do good, while on the oter hand, he maybe does not want coffee.
Ai, the trouble we have to go through!

Reply to Moon

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