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Question
Posted by: Concerned Mother | 2005/12/12

Mood Swings

My daughter and her boyfriend both 24 have been living together for 3 years. The bf suffers from mood swings. He is on some sort of meds. Yesterday we had a family outing, his folks and me and them. Bf was in a fowl mood, which in turn made my daughter cry. She is worried that his parents will think that she is the cause of his bad moods! What worries me most is that there has been talk of marriage, how will my daughter manage to live with this moody person for the rest of her life?! Must I let her make her own mistakes just the way I made mine? I married her father inspite of his drinking problem. His heavy drinking resulted in the end of the marriage after 20 years. I am worried that she will be unhappy with this man in the long term. Any advice?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

His parents must surely know of his problem and his being under treatment for it, and thus would need to be very stupid to blame your daughter for what may be signs of his illness. Before deciding on marriage, maybe your daughter could ask to speak with his psychiatrist, with his blessing and approval, to ask for information about his condition and the outlook for it. If this is a mood disorder, they generally do much better with treatment, as compared with alcohol problems

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Our users say:
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/12

Concerned Mother, all we can do as mothers is advise and be there when things fall apart. I think you are quite right in saying that you should leave her to make her own mistakes, but be there for her if it falls apart. How lovely it would be if they actually listened to us and learned from our experience. But then again, if we had listened when we were young we would not have that experience, would we? So, yes, advise her, caution her, but also make her understand that whatever her decision is, you will always be there for her.

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