Our expert says:
If necessary, call the police and lay charges. And make it very clear to him, in advance, that this is what will happen. You can't control his life or take responsibility for it --- that's his affair. BUT within your own home, YOU are the law, and he must accept and keep to ALL of your rules and wishes, or just not arrive there at all.
Making demands on you, arriving drunk, insulting you, and so on, is forbidden and never acceptable. And if he can't afford to pay his pal for petrol, he can't afford to drink or to go to parties. And a sore head is never any excuse for such bad behaviour. Do a web search and read up about "tough love". And tell the friend NOT to bring him to your home again, unless he has spoken to you and you have invited them round.
Something like CBT might help, but ONLY if he willingly and sincerely engaged in it ( which seems vanishingly unlikely at this stage ). Don't find him a therapist --- he will have no respect for such an arragement. If he can't be bothered to find one for himself ( and find a way to pay for it ) it probably wouldn't help him, anyway.
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