Our expert says:
Stuck, there is absolutely no point in borrowing money to lend to someone else, even your parents. Debt means that ultimately you're paying more in interest on interest to service the debt, than to help your parents. Don't ever give them what you don't have ; or soon you won't be able to give them anything at all ; and your own marriage and family must take priority over their needs. They are being wickedly selfish in expecting you to sacrifice your marriage and husband for their benefit ; and he's right to recognize that he is not financially helping HIS pensioner parent(s), while yours are so demanding. Do they really NEED all the money they're expecting, or do they just want it ?
Chelle makes excellent points, which I strongly agree with. Your husband is NOT "an outsider" --- you are a married couple, bound together for life by vows you took. How do this old couple seem to need more money that the three of you ?
Speak to someone at your bank to see what can be done to correct and safeguard the financial position of you and your husband. Include in that review whether you can aford ANY money towards helping your parents, and if so, how much. And that, if any, must be the limit. Also, call the Dept of Welfare to see whether they qualify for any further pension or grants. They will have to learn to live within their income, and explore whether there are any ways in which they can still earn a little more to help themselves.
And I like lady nina's points, including, if they live near enough, the expectation that they will help with household chores and child care, in recompense for all they are receiving.
Raising a child does usually deserve a debt of gratitude and good feelings, but it is not a financial investiment by which they have any right to expect to get paid dividends indefinitely --- they still had a duty to make savings and other provisions for themselves and their retirement.
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