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Question
Posted by: worried | 2005/07/01

mom

my son is marrying a woman that has been cheating on him, the child may not be his, should I tell him this or wait until he finds out.

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Our expert says:
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It sems strange that you apparently know that the child may not be his, but that he doesn't. it might well be worth telling him tactfully WHY you became suspicious ( ie giving him the same information you received ) , and suggest that he have the appropriate tests done.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Star | 2005/07/01

That is why they say love is blind, we don't want to see anything wrong with the one we love.

This is a difficult one, you could end up being the pig in the story. Have you discussed this with the girl? Heard her out? Maybe your story is only a rumour, so ask her first to explain. Maybe non of this is true to begin with and the you will only upset your son.

I would say ask her first.

Reply to Star
Posted by: ... | 2005/07/01

I guess sometimes our parents know some things that we dont know about our lovers. Maybe this guy doesnt know anything about the nasty things his lover is up to, so give mom a chance.

Reply to ...
Posted by: Flo | 2005/07/01

First of all who told you that she's been cheating on him? Secondly what makes you think the child may not be his? Do you know her well? Have they been dating for a long/short time? For all we know you may just be a meddling mom who's overpossessive of her son. If not, then your son should be told one way or another but make sure you are 100% correct in what you are saying.

Reply to Flo
Posted by: Purple | 2005/07/01

Its his relationship and if he has forgiven her for cheating on him then that is their business, and although you are concerned, it still remains none of your business. Of course you don't want to see your son hurt, but you can't protect him from everything.

If he were sensible, he would ask for a paternity test, however, he may wish to marry his faince regardless of the test, and may wish to be a father figure to the child whether its his or not - and that is his choice. In that case, what would a paternity test do except cause upset and hurt. If I were your son though, I'd do the paternity test, even if it were after the marriage.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: Jelly | 2005/07/01

worried,

I agree with Hello. Tell him asap. Don't let her destroy his life. Give him the information and but let him decide what to do. Maybe you should suggest a paternity test. If she is telling the truth she wont hesitate to do one. Just make sure she goes through with it. Good luck. Let us know what you do and what happens

Reply to Jelly
Posted by: hello | 2005/07/01

HELLO - if you love your son tell him!!!

He could be making the biggest mistkae of his life here. Get the proof needed ect and tell him NOW... but make sure you are 100% otheriwse you are causing trouble...

Reply to hello

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