Our expert says:
Your cousin should have been reported to the police at the time, as well as his ludicrous parents. Of course a 4 year-old doesn't seduce anyone --- and even if a child bizarrely tried to do so, any competent adult would know that it was wrong to respond in any way other than to leave the scene and inform her parents.
You seem to be describing a disgraceful family that not only tolerated but encouraged child molestation. But at this stage, so long afterwards --- look at the options.
Its almost certainly too late to bring a successful prosecution, and that wouldn't benefit you --- UNLESS the uncle or whoever else might be reasonably suspected of CURRENTLY molesting other kids, in which case the police and child welfare should be informed to check on this.
For yourself, its entirely understandable that you would hate such morally warped people, but that hatred and anger is not benefitting you in any way. See a good local counsellor and work on this, for your own sake. And don't allow yourself to be pressured into inviting any of the molesters or their protectors to your wedding --- it's your wedding, and your right to invite only good people you respect and like.
Oh, and Been There, DO see a counsellor --- that is confidential, and never involves any requirement for you to tell your husband WHY you need to see someone, other than that you're troubled by some concerns and want to deal with them better
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