Our expert says:
Abuse is not acceptable and should not be tolerable. Contact a group like POWA which offers help to the abused. Geting involved with an ex doesn't really help unless he can help you to safely escape, with the children, from the abuse, or help you gwet to POWA meetings - starting a relationship with him could worsen the problems.
Alcoholics often promise the earth, and don't even remember their promises, let alone keep them.
If he is not seeing a shrink who specializes in alcohol abuse, and not joining AA, he isn't going to stop. There is NO benefit to children in being in a family where there is alcoholism and abuse. As he refuses to join you in counselling, he is refusing to seriously try to improve the situations his drinking creates. Do you have options such as leaving him, with the children, and staying with your family ? If the house was in your name, you could consult a lawyer and have your drinking husband excluded from the house until he has been sober for a year or so
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