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Question
Posted by: lost | 2004/11/09

Miss Long Fingers

I had a battle with my daughter age 8 this morning because i found money (notes) in her school bag. After a repetitive demand she told me it came from my bag. She receives pocket money once a week which are splitted half for school tuckshop and half in savings. All other monies b/day etc are being dealt with in same fashion. Please tell me how i should have dealt with this situation. I am but a single parent who tries to stretch the odd rand and sees to all her needs (and sometimes wants). How could i curb this happening again?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

NLM's response is absolutely excellent and I fully agree with it.

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Our users say:
Posted by: NLM | 2004/11/09

The most important thing to do is ====DO NOT FIGHT WITH HER. I would like to make a suggestion. Although she is only 8 years old, believe me, a child of that age is not stupid.

Sit down with her in your lounge and the first thing you do is to tell her how HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HER. Then you go on to tell her that you have to make ends meet AS A SINGLE PARENT ( and tell her what a single parent has to do to make ends meet )
and also tell her that you work for a boss that pays you a fixed amount of money ( explain to her what that is ) and if she takes it from you, you would not be able to provide a house and food etc etc etc.

Then an important thing---when you recieve your salary, allow her to help you to put the different payments into the envelopes ( Envelope for the rent, one for the electr. etc etc etc ) and that will make her understand that you need to pay certain expenses to make a living. Put the envelopes in your cuboard and when you need to pay the rent, let her fetch it---it gives her in her small mind the idee that she is helping to pay and that creates a mindset with her that every cent is important.

Even allow her to put her own pocket money in an envelope. You will be surprised at the outcome of this. INVOLVE HER IN YOUR EXPENSES>

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