Posted by: Palesa | 2007/08/07


Hi all

A bit of advice needed.

Lately i have been feeling so lonely and i dont see any point in living.

I feel so num most of the time. My boyfriend cheated on me in 2005, but i feel this is getting me. I was alright last year he apologiesed and i forgave him, but lately i feel horrible and i cant stand him. All the things are coming back to me and i now realise that i still feel hurt and disapointed.

I fight with him most of the time, but he doesnt seem to understand where the anger comes from. I actually regret my decision of forgiving him.

No he wants to settle down and marry me, but i cant i really despise him, the thing is, i cant talk about it with him because he does not want to touch the subject.

Do you think i am being paranoid?

Please help

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Our expert says:
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There's lots of point in living, though remaining in a relationship with a painful and cheaing bf is not the point. Why on earth are you assuming that you must remain in an unhappy relationship with him, rather than moving on and finding someone else with whom you could be actually happy ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: hope | 2007/08/08

You feel bad because you have a hard time respecting yourself because you allow him to disrespect you. You can forgive someone but never forget. If you trully forgive him, then you have to move on, start anew and never mention it again. Otherwise, you haven't trully forgiven him, and who could blame you. The best thing for you to do is get away from him. If you say he is violent then there is absolutely no reason to be with him. If he tells you he loves you, that doesn't mean anything if he doesn't show you. You will never feel good about yourself if you stay where you are. You need to get on with your life and you will find so much happiness, and find yourself in the process. That is your reason to go on. Hope for happiness, because it will find you when you get your self in a position to let it happen. If you stay with him, you will resent him forever. And you will cheat yourself from greater things that life has to offer. There is someone out there for you who will love you and respect you and you will totally forget about him. You will be mad at yourself for putting up with it for so long. Don't use the time you've invested in this relationship be a reason to make you stay. You probably don't want to feel like you have wasted your time, but everyday you stay with him, is another day of happiness you have lost. It's time to move on. Hope this helps.

Reply to hope
Posted by: phiwe | 2007/08/07

i am feeling like that as we are talkin but i cannot find strenth to live my boyfriend, mine cheated on me so many times i have lost count , girl you need to get out as soon as possibleand start taking care of your self

im taking one step at a time hoping to be better soon
good luck

Reply to phiwe
Posted by: Palesa | 2007/08/07

Thank you Ice for being my shoulder for now.

I don wana be in this relationship any more. I wana let go of him, I don wana fix things up.

He is a Soldier and sometimes can get very violent, I told him that i dont love him anymore but he thinks it is a joke because he mentioned that he doesnt have anything to lose.

I dont love him anymore and everyday is a pain when i have to look at him, i actually become very aggressive.

Thanx for opening line of communication.

Reply to Palesa
Posted by: Ice | 2007/08/07

Hi, I don't think you are paranoid. i think you suppressed your feelings then and now it is surfacing. You have to ask yourself do you want to be with this man the rest of your life? Do you want to make it right? If your answer is yes, you have to deal with it. Don't let your answer be yes because you don't want to be alone. I must be because you want to. If it is no, you should find away to get out of the relationship. If you can't fix it why keep on trying? Do you want to fix it? I'll be around if you want to chat.

Reply to Ice

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