Our expert says:
I am sure that a good psychiatrist or clinical psychologist could help you a great deal ( and, by the way, congratulations on managing to get through the pain of being rejected by the first educational institution, and to continue, and succeed, at another ). The aim would be to deal with your unhappiness and feelings of guily, and to help you free yourself from those --- not to "make you forget" what happened, but to understand it better, get it better into perspective, and to become free to enjoy a full and satisfying relationship with the man of your choice.
Then you can have inner happiness to match your pleasant smile.
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