Posted by: Confused | 2008/12/18

M.I.L - Should I or not

Hi everyone. I am a bit on the confused side of life. Last year Nov me and my husband had some issues and i called his mother to maybe help or whatever. Well she came and talked and what not. Anyway she and my hubby' s ex was a lot in contact, but she did something i never dreamt of. In fact i thought they were no more in contact. She called Ex from MY cell phone the evening and told EX everything about this whole business. She asked if she could use my phone to tell her friend that she is fine and everything coz she stays so far and she took public transport to get to us. The next morning by chance i looked at my phone and saw ex' s number and she was on the phone +- 23min. I exploded and couldn' t believe it. So everytime she came ' visiting'  she reported to the EX. I was so disturbed and told her to leave my house (Hubby was at work). We had some words and that was it and all. She never ever tried to make contact with her son after that. We have a baby of 2 yrs now and she saw baby last year Nov last. She never even called on her 2nd birthday in Sept. Or her son' s birthday in Oct. She saw baby last when she couldn' t even walk and not even had a tooth in the mouth,but she seems to be ok with that. Well than i suggested we invite her for Christmas and hubby is ok with that. She also likes to look at me from head to toe, saying funny things to me about weight and crap like that. Oh and she loved to visit us coz everything she wants (MAINLY ALCOHOL), she will get coz i am so NICE and i respect her so much. But i have my doubts. I am a bit scared of her and i know she' s gonna report AGAIN to the EX. And also the fact that she didn' t bother with her son and grandchild for 13 months makes me wonder what type of a person she is. Hubby told me she was a VERY BAD person in her days, and i think she' s still a bad person. Anyway i really for some weird reason whants her to come spend Christmas with us, but i am a bit nervous. I am doing it for my Husband coz i really think he misses her at times, coz my mom died a few years ago and times like this, I WOULD GIVE anything to spend Christmas with my mom. Should i let the past be and just make peace with this woman........

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Our expert says:
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Mothers-in-law are mothers-in-law. But her reporting to the EDx is sneaky and unhelpful. But urge your husband to talk with her when she arrives, saying that her reporting to his ex is unfair and unhelpful. And don't lend her your phone.

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Our users say:
Posted by: C | 2008/12/18

I would say if you feel that its the right thing to do ( especially being Xmas ans all)
Go ahead and do it. BUT BE CAREFUL.

I think yr hubby should have a talk with her regarding the reporting back to the EX. She should know THIS IS HIS NEW LIFE and he doesn t want her in it if she CANT respect you nad he' s PRIVACY.

Mmmmm.... Listen to he , thats exactly what i would love my hubby to do BUT.....

Good luck

Reply to C

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