Our expert says:
If, apart from a speciic occasion when particularly provoked, some one gets to routinely bad-mouthing you, your husband or anyone, dump them - such fountains of negativity don't deserve to be visited or valued.
If you have any direct contact with her just make it clear that nobody in your family appreciates her unkind attitudes and lack of respect, and that you folks won't be seeing her until she is ready to show you appropriate respect. Other family members can convey that message. Don't give her the power to cause so much misery
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