Our expert says:
Splashing out a little on a boys toy here and there may be OK, but at R 70,000 that's a but steep ! And if paid for by a loan, that's very risky. Sounds like he's begun to feel insecure, especially when comparing himself with the boys at work, and he's probably angry with you beause deep down he knows you're absolutely right.
Lets see what other readers can contribute here - surely several have been through this ? Can he be persuaded to start on a small scale, with one of the toys, a cheaper one, and see if it actually brings him any proportionate pleasure ? Rather than speaking in ways he can interpret, however unfairly, as critical, can you explore sympathetically whether he is feeling unhappy, dissatisfied with his work and life-style, and perhaps open to seeing someone to explore ways of improving those more central aspects of his happiness ? Is it possible to explore whether he might consider selecting something from among the toys he's thinking of, which he could share with you, rather than as a solitary pleasure ?
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