Posted by: messy | 2008/01/27

Messed up Mom

I am a 33 year old single mom living with her folks. I have just left my job because of stress and growing panic attacks. I have been in a relationship with a fantastic guy for 7 years now. I think I want to get married and get on with my life he doesn't. He is divorced and wants to stay that way. He is always there for me in every way. Is so loving, always wants to be with me. i know he loves me but his wife cheated on him and he doesn't want that again. I love him too much to leave him and don't want to have another boyfriend in my childs life. I suffer from depression and it effects my whole life. I don't have anyone to talk to cause my family is in just as much trouble as me. We are all in financial difficulty. If it weren't for my child I would have no reason to live. I take all sorts of tablets to get my mind of my life. I sleep whenever my child is not around. When I go out the smallest things will set me off into a crying fit (which I do in the bathroom so no one sees). I go to braais and see all these happily married couples and there I go again. It is going to eventually ruin my whole life cause I sure wouldn't want to be with a miserable person 24/7. I want help, I cry out for help but there is non, everyone else is too busy getting their lives in order. What do I do, where do I go. I have no money to seek professional help. I hate being this person all the time.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dont just accept panic attacks --- they can be very effectively treated with medication and CBT --- they shouldnt have been an excuse for leaving work, rather you should have used your access to medical aid to have them treated. And a CBT therapist could help you control the Depressions, too. Explore what FAMSA could advise, and the services through your nearest provincial hospital or clinic, or medical school. I don't at all like the sound of you taking ANY of "all those tablets" as they are probably doing no good and could well be making matters worse.
Dn't rely on a possibly careless GP to dish out tablets rather than effective treatments. GO and get a job --- ANY job, preferably one with medical Aid, and start working ( which will leave less time for you to feel miserable in ) and start real treatment and stick to it.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Leigh | 2008/01/29

I feel sorry for you, but I'm going to share the problems I have with your posting! I'm honest with you and not trying to be cruel, but listen to what I have to say!

There's no doubt that you're feeling sorry for yourself! Everyone have their ups and downs, but do all of them stand up? The people who find strength and stand up again are the people who start believing in themselves and the people that allow God to pick them up and the people that allow God to show them the way that God wants for them and not the way they want for themselves. Start trusting God for He knows best...

You had a job, but you left it and now you have not money for professional help, but you could have had the money for professional help.

Go out there, find a job, stop worrying about things that don't even matter.

You say that if it weren't for your child you would have no reason to live. That single sentence tells me that it would be the wrong thing to do to get married anyway, because your child is the only reason you want to live, that means that you're boyfriend isn't playing an important role in your life.

You CAN get out of this depression, it is not impossible! Stand up, go out there and find the happiness you and your little one deserve. First find a job, spend as much time with your child and make life worth living! You can do it the day you start thinking positively!!

Good luck!

I was also a single parent, I had a rough time, but the day I allowed God to show me the way things started to get a lot better. I am so happy now and so glad that I didn't follow my own way and the way I wanted, because then I would still have been miserable!

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